I can’t focus.  I can’t work.  All I can do at the moment is think about the children we lost, the families who are in such pain, the senselessness of the shooting that occurred this morning at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.

This could have been any school, any place.  This could have been any of us.  And really, they are us.  We are all connected, and we feel the suffering, we can’t help it.  These children are our children, we feel the loss, we mourn the loss of their presence in the world, and the promise of what might have been.

Every time one of these tragedies occur, and it is devastating that we have any of these tragedies at all, people rally around and express their support of more strict gun control laws.  And yet, time goes by, and nothing more happens.  Until we have another senseless tragedy.  We need change NOW.  I think that President Obama expressed it very well in his response to the country.  It’s not about politics.  It’s about people.  We need to protect each other not with weaponry, but with kindness, with peace, and yes, with laws that look at a victim’s rights, not the perpetrator’s rights. I also feel strongly that we need better access to mental health care.  Many insurance policies don’t recognize mental health as a concern, the coverage is nominal.  But as we see in cases such as this, the consequences are far-reaching.  

We need to talk about these things.  Not just in the moment, but as the days go on, until something is done, until we get the changes in place that we so desperately need.  

So today we mourn.  We take a moment to pause and remember these sweet faces, the loving teachers, parents, and administrators who work with our children daily.  We can not understand the why of this situation.  But we can bring our hearts together and be in it together.  Our strength will lift us up, and take us to a better, brighter, more hopeful place.

My friend Mallika Chopra posted some links to petitions on her blog.  If you feel so compelled, and want to take action, this is one thing that you can do to make some sort of a difference during this difficult time:

http://signon.org/sign/ban-assault-weapons.fb23?source=s.fb&r_by=6380340 https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/immediately-address-issue-gun-control-through-introduction-legislation-congress/2tgcXzQC http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/546/934/954/?cid=fb_lg_guncontrol
 

I have lived in Los Angeles for 26 years now and up until last weekend I had never been to The Magic Castle. What is the Magic Castle? Just a Los Angeles institution! It’s a throw-back to old Hollywood, the kind of place that still requires a jacket and tie to get in. It’s so exclusive that you must be personally invited by one of their members to get in for an evening’s entertainment. That’s probably why I had never been before – I was never invited! But thanks to the magic of the internet, I now have a connection. Michael Vincent is a brilliant magician who lives in London. He happens to subscribe to my Daily Wisdom e-mail newsletter. When Michael was invited to perform at the Magic Castle in Los Angeles, he invited me to come see his show! Of course I jumped at the chance. The Magic Castle is an old mansion that has been converted into a restaurant and show rooms. Greg and I arrived for our 7:30 dinner reservation and had a lovely vegetarian meal. The service was excellent, the atmosphere very old school dignified. Everyone dressed up for an elegant evening. After dinner we explored the place, and were mesmerized by a bartender/magician doing card tricks. It turns out this was the anniversary of The Magic Circle in England, so it was British week at the castle, and all the shows featured British magicians. The first show we saw Greg laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall out of his seat! I think Aussies and Pommies share a similar sense of humor. In between shows we had a drink in the lounge, and were serenaded by Irma, the resident ghost who plays requests on the piano. You call out a song and it magically plays! Any song – it doesn’t matter, Irma knows it. Amazing! Finally we got to meet Michael Vincent himself. I had gotten to know Michael a little bit via e-mail and by visiting his website, so I knew already that he is a sweetie. But, oh, what a gentleman! Michael is very handsome, and gracious, and it was so good to connect with him in person. And talk about talented! We were absolutely astounded by the magic that Michael came up with. I think my jaw kept dropping open, and I kept looking at Greg to see if he was seeing what I was seeing. We had a great time – Michael is hilarious – so charming and at ease on the stage. You could really see that this is his dharma. Drop by and visit Michael’s site – and if anyone knows an agent in LA who handles magicians, let me or Michael know – I want him to come back and do Leno! http://www.magicofmagic.com

At the Chopra Foundation’s 2012 Sages and Scientists Symposium brilliant minds from all over the world gathered to share their thoughts about “The Merging of a New Future.”  It was a stimulating conversation, filled with revelations and sprinkled with optimism, with topics that ranged from medical research to leadership in business, and even some social media.  I can’t imagine any one other than Deepak who could bring together such a fascinating array of speakers and entertainers!  We heard from former President of Mexico Vincente Fox, General Wesley Clark, Chemist, Quantum Physicists, Corporate leaders, and more, and we were entertained by upcoming musical groups Black Opera, Caught A Ghost, kid’s dance troupe The Miniotics, Flamenco dancers and a group of male acrobats to performed on poles!

By the way, all of the volunteers at the Symposium looked fabulous wearing the Jnana Yoga tee-shirts from WearLuck.com.  Jnana Yoga is the path of knowledge, so it’s perfect for this conference!  Each of the speakers received a tee-shirt in their gift bags as well, and we got tons of great comments on them!

Here are some of the highlights of the conference that I caught on video:

Dr. Rudy “Rock Star” Tanzi accepted the Spirit of Rustum Roy Award for his contributions in Alzheimer’s Research.  I was fortunate to get an interview with the late Dr. Roy during the 2010 Symposium and you can see what he had to say about the “New Science” in this video:

Dr. Rustum Roy

http://youtu.be/MoI7TyLZQWs

This year I was delighted to interview Dr. Lothar Schafer – he had so many amazing things to say that I ended up making his interview into three videos!  Here’s one:

Lothar Schafer on Consciousness

http://youtu.be/-nqxd1OT3mE

All of the attendees, including me, were impressed by what two young men are accomplishing to help solve the world water crisis.  Here’s my interview with Mike Muniz from Generosity Water:

Mike Muniz, Generosity Water

http://youtu.be/sD9oBtNZ7JM

Leonard Mlodinow is Deepak Chopra’s co-author, their book is “War of the Worldviews.”  It was great speaking with him and getting a behind-the-scenes perspective.  Here’s what he had to say:

Leonard Mlodinow

http://youtu.be/HKJljfmDr6E

One of the most popular entertainers was poet/rapper J. Ivy.  He performed with his beautiful and talented wife.  You’ll be hearing a lot from this guy:

J. Ivy

http://youtu.be/xy1x9edjf2M

Carlos Dominguez gave a great talk.  He calls himself a “Tech Nowist.”  Find out exactly what that means in his interview:

Carlos Dominguez

http://youtu.be/Nkg6Ndz2dg4

My friend Dave, whom I’ve kept in touch with ever since high school, is getting married! I’m so excited for him and his fiance, Elizabeth. Dave is a great guy. The reason I’m sharing this on my blog is because Dave is also a most creative guy. He found a very interesting, and very original, way to propose! Check our his website and you’ll see what I mean: http://www.daveloveselizabeth.com

It happens at least once a week, the ritual trek to the local grocery store.  We need food, we need supplies, we are creatures whose needs must be met, and this is how we do it.  It’s more convenient than growing our own vegetables, or baking our own bread.  And although we may not get the same satisfaction that our ancestors did by working the land, we are in a sense doing our own harvesting by what we choose, and how we shop, at the supermarket.

Here are some ways that we can get the most out of the experience, and turn what could possibly be mundane into something rather special and spiritual.  This is how we can “bloom where we are planted” even if that happens to be in the middle of suburbia.

Bring your own bags.  This seems like such a simple thing to do, and yet when you look around at the other shoppers, how many people actually do it?  In Europe there is not the option of “paper or plastic.”  You bring your own bag or you carry your purchases out in your arms.  We did an informal survey recently in front of our neighborhood market, and found that although most people thought this was a good idea, they hadn’t gotten themselves in the habit.  Make this conscious choice.  Carry your bags in your car so they are there for you when you need them.  It’s one little contribution towards making the world a better place.

After you park, if you see a stray cart in the lot, take it with you into the store.  Many carts are left loose in the parking lot only to bump into cars, or block the way as someone is trying to open their car door.  Returning a cart is being a good citizen, and also setting a good example.

Many stores have now been kind enough to provide anti-bacterial wipes at their entries so that we can wipe down the handle of the cart.  Use them to protect yourself and others from germs that are easily passed around in public places.  And when you’re done with the wipe, dispose of it carefully in the container provided.

When shopping for produce, choose fruits and vegetables that are locally grown.  Shipping from far-away places puts a burden on the planet by requiring extra fuel to get items where they need to be.  Also, be aware of packaging.  Again, re-use bags from home, or don’t bother to use bags at all when selecting your produce.  Select one thing that you might not have tried before – open yourself up to new culinary possibilities!

Consider your time in the market as an opportunity to practice present-moment awareness.  Be fully present when choosing your items.  Smile at the people sharing this experience with you.  This is a community, and you are an important part of it.  Be grateful for the store employees who work so hard to keep the place neat and orderly so that you can find what you are looking for.  Marvel at the abundance of choices that we have before us.

Think about the many ways that you can be a conscientious consumer.  Rather than buying paper napkins, use cloth napkins at the table for dinner.  Rather than using paper towels to clean, use dish-cloths, and rags.  Rather than using cleaning products with chemicals, investigate the many natural alternatives, such as vinegar, that can be used just as efficiently with less impact on the planet. Take lunch boxes, or cloth lunch bags, to work or school instead of using paper lunch bags.  These are all the little things that end up making a big difference.  Consciously participate in green living.

Read labels to know what you are putting into your body.  There are so many options now, so check the shelves for products that are lower in sugar, sodium, and fat.  Opt for healthier alternatives, like whole grains, and higher fiber cereals. 

More and more people are deciding on a vegetarian, or even vegan, lifestyle.  Even if you don’t want to commit all the way, try going meat-free at least one day a week.

If you have a full cart of groceries and someone behind you in line has just one or two items, practice kindness by offering to let them go ahead of you.  If someone ahead of you is having trouble getting credit approval, or is taking a long time to write out a check, this is an opportunity to practice patience and compassion.

When checking out, have your discount cards or coupons ready so as not to keep the people behind you in line waiting longer than necessary.  Make sure to present your bags to the bag-person before he or she starts to pack.  If there is no one helping the cashier to bag the groceries, pitch in and help yourself.  Always show gratitude for the help you were given by expressing thanks.

And, of course, after you take the bags out of your cart and put them into your car, return the cart to the store rather than leaving it loose in the parking lot.

Everything in life, every moment we live, can be a meditation, a learning experience. With this state of mind, we can turn something like grocery shopping, which we might have thought of as a chore, into an adventure.

Seven days the jury deliberated. And now we have a verdict. Not guilty, times 10. So, what do we make of this? I don’t know what to think. I have followed the Michael Jackson case closely, and I wonder if the jurors heard something that I missed. If this were any “regular” person being accused of these crimes, would the jury come to the same conclusion? Certainly celebrities are viewed, and treated, differently in this society. What is it that about fame that gives these people their teflon coating? There are bound to be comparisons to the OJ Simpson trial, and Robert Blake, and now Michael Jackson. Are these men criminals, who used their money and popularity to seduce the public into believing in their innocence? Have they been able to successfully manipulate the justice system in their favor? Or have they gotten the fair trial and just verdict that they deserve? There are no easy answers. I watched as the verdicts were read this afternoon, and fans cheered, threw confetti, and let doves fly free in celebration. Who are these devotees who have given up their lives to “be there” in support of their beloved Michael? Some have traveled from around the world. They create quite a stir, as if their enthusiasm alone is enough to pull Michael through. The adulation, the tears, it’s all very dramatic – and maybe it’s just all a part of the show. Word has it that some of these groupies are actually paid to show up everyday. Money, after all, can buy just about anything. What irks me about this particular case is that Michael Jackson has set him self apart from the rest of society. He has made his own rules, and by letting him off the hook on all counts, society has basically said that it’s okay. There may not be a law about adults sleeping in a bed with children of a certain age, particularly children who are not their own, but there is a standard that society has set that says “this is not okay.” There are boundaries. There is responsible behavior. There is respectful behavior. And sleeping in a bed with someone else’s child is crossing that boundary. It is not responsible, or respectful, behavior. And yet somehow it’s okay for Michael Jackson to do just that. Michael clearly believes that he is innocent. And he believes that there is nothing wrong with his behavior towards children. But just because he believes that doesn’t make it right. Even when, back in 1993, he paid $20 million to a family in a civil case, that wasn’t enough make him understand that there is simply something wrong with his behavior. You’d think that would have taught the guy a lesson! But, no. Not only did he continue doing whatever the heck he wanted to do, he flaunted it on national television, for all the world to see. Michael Jackson is not a smart man, but in this case he outsmarted the jury. I don’t believe that he is innocent, or naive. I think that he considers himself separate from the rest of us, and that he plays the part he created so perfectly that he believes it himself. Michael Jackson is a musical genius. It is likely that he was abused as a child, and his childhood certainly was exploited. Yet that is no excuse for his behavior. He has been caught in lies many times – from denying his plastic surgeries to inflating the size of his bank accounts. And if he took a lie detector test I’d bet he would pass, because he totally believes what he says. The man wouldn’t survive a day in jail. Not because he’s too fragile, or because the inmates would make meatloaf out of him, but because he couldn’t handle the reality of the situation. He couldn’t reconcile his interpretation of reality with what smacks him in the face. It would drive him over the edge. What’s sad is that all of these people are paid to protect him, to worship him, to cater to his every whim. And yet no one is getting him the help he so desperately needs. It’s “the Emperor’s clothes” story. Maybe it will take a little child to speak up, and make Michael Jackson realize that what he is doing is just plain wrong. Or maybe not. Maybe this was our chance and it’s gone.

Healthcare

Years ago, when my son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), my life changed.  I went from being a mother to also taking on the additional roles of advocate and mediator.  In order to help my son get the help he needed and the services he was entitled to in school, I had to learn everything I could about the educational system, the healthcare system, and the law.  It is a challenge to navigate all of this, and yet it is essential in order to work with teachers, administrators, doctors, and therapists as part of a team.  I learned a lot, thanks in large part to an organization called CHADD, Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorders.  This is a national, non-profit organization with local, volunteer-run chapters.  Our local chapter held monthly meetings, which allowed parents to keep up with the various issues and changes.  Most importantly, the meetings provided a forum for parents to network with each other and share experiences and resources.

We got over all the hurdles, and managed to get through the system despite the complexities.  My son is in college now, and he has the tools to advocate for himself.  But there are new kids coming up, and new parents who are starting from scratch to figure all of this out.  Luckily, CHADD is still on it, providing us with the ongoing information we need to help our kids. 

Following is an e-mail I received from CHADD regarding the current Healthcare Reform Legislation.  I am happy to share it with you, and hoping that it will encourage all of us to look at the many children and families who will benefit from healthcare reform.  To those of us working so diligently to take care of our children, this is most welcome, and long overdue.

“House of Representatives Passes
Comprehensive Healthcare Reform Legislation

Many Provisions Will Benefit
Children and Adults with AD/HD and Related Disorders

On Saturday, November 7, 2009, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a comprehensive healthcare reform bill, the Affordable Health Care for America Act (HR 3962) by a vote of 220-215. It is expected that the full Senate will debate and vote on its version of the bill in the coming weeks, which will then be followed by the House and Senate having its leaders meet in a conference to reconcile differences and produce a final piece of legislation that can be sent to the President.

CHADD, through its membership in the Consortium for Citizens with Disabilities, Campaign for Mental Health Reform, and the Mental Health Liaison Group has sent letters to members of Congress in support of the bill. CHADD’s views on and support for healthcare reform legislation can be viewed on the Healthcare Reform 2009 webpage and CHADD’s Leadership Blog. CHADD has no position on many of the provisions contained in the legislation. The three primary disability coalitions CHADD participates in, believe there are significant key provisions warranting support of the legislation. 

A few key provisions in the final House bill that will benefit children and adults with AD/HD and related disorders include:

    * Requiring most Americans to obtain health insurance, and mandating that most employers provide insurance to their employees, but also providing substantial federal subsidies to make coverage as affordable as possible;
    * Providing coverage of critical services for people with disabilities in the new Health Insurance Exchange’s essential benefits package including behavioral health treatment, and mental health and substance abuse services in compliance with the Wellstone-Domenici parity law, rehabilitation and habilitation services, equipment and supplies for children under 21 years of age;
    * Inclusion of “disability” as a category for purposes of health disparities;
    * Inclusion of the Community Living Assistance Services and Supports (CLASS) Act, a new national long term services insurance program to help adults with severe functional impairments to remain independent, employed, and a part of their communities; and
* Not allowing individual or group health insurance policies to establish lifetime or annual limits on the dollar value of benefits and the elimination of discrimination based on health status or a pre-existing condition.

CHADD continues to actively monitor developments in healthcare reform. Updated information on the legislation, CHADD’s 13 principles for healthcare reform, children’s mental health coalition’s five principles for healthcare reform and CHADD’s work with other partner coalitions can be viewed on CHADD’s website: http://www.chadd.org “

Tom Cruise is in the news again. If you haven’t heard, he’s got a new girlfriend, the much-younger Katie Holmes. They each have a blockbuster movie coming out this summer, so the publicity can’t hurt either of them. If Tom would just stick to promoting his movie and enthusing about his newfound love life, I wouldn’t have any complaint with him. I mean, live and let live, right? But Tom is imposing his opinions, beliefs, misinformed judgments or whatever else you want to call them, all over the place. His target? Actress and now author, Brooke Shields. Brooke has just written a book chronicling her battle with post-partum depression. I applaud Brooke for her honest and straight-forward account of this debilitating condition that so many women go through without even knowing what it is. After her child was born, this usually easy-going, productive, intelligent woman fell into the depths of despair. She couldn’t function, and questioned her very existence. So after much research, she finally took her doctor’s advice and went on an anti-depressant medication. It was enough to get her over the hump and it very likely saved her life. So why would Tom Cruise, who as far as we all know has never given birth, never suffered from depression, and is not a medical doctor, condemn Brooke’s very personal decision? Because he’s a Scientologist. And Scientologists don’t believe in “mind altering” medications. He has said in the press that there is “no science” to prove that anti-depressants are effective. According to Tom, Brooke could have cured her depression with vitamins and exercise. Hello? Tom, have you ever heard of a PET scan? Is that not science enough for you? Puh-leez! Do some research! Better yet, have some compassion. I’m the first one to get on board with any kind of natural remedy. I wrote a book “The Healthy Family Handbook: Natural Remedies for Parents and Children.” But I also know that there are certain things that western science can do that nothing else can. If someone were facing surgery, say they needed a tumor taken out to relieve excruciating pain, would Tom suggest that they take a vitamin and walk around the block instead? Physical pain is no different than emotional pain. One starts in the body, the other starts in the brain. The mind and body are intricately linked. God made man, and made us intelligent, and intelligence made anti-depressants, so to me those medications are no less from God than vitamins. Taken in the right circumstances, under a doctor’s care, they can help people. And they certainly were able to help Brooke Shields. Who is Tom to argue with that? Who is he to judge? He is certainly entitled to make his own decisions, for himself, but to judge another person as he did is not only cruel, it’s criminal. Will some other woman going through post-partum depression feel guilty taking her doctor’s advice and instead of taking necessary medication, take a vitamin? Why should she suffer for Tom’s arrogance? Tom may play the hero in the movies, but in this instance, he’s playing the villain – the ignorant, self-important, destructive bad guy.

There is an old saying that says: “Make new friends, and keep the old.  One is silver, the other is gold.” Life is all about relationships.  We have a relationship with the environment, with our work, with our home, and especially with the people in our lives.  Earth Month gives us an opportunity to look at how we can make things last, to best maximize the resources we have.  It takes a lot of energy to develop a friendship.  A friendship is an investment of our time and emotions.  And we benefit from having these people in our lives in countless ways.  How can we best sustain our relationships, given the overwhelming obligations that we face on a daily basis?  Here are a few tips: -Be available.  Sure, you’ve got an e-mail, cell-phone and facebook page.  But can your friends really reach you?  Sometimes we’re so bogged down by technology that we forget the reasons we got started on it in the first place.  We can get our social networking “friends” mixed up with our true friends, the ones who want to be there for us no matter what our status update says.  So, when a friend is moving, reach out and offer to help.  If a friend is going through a hard time, go over and hold her hand.  Take him our to dinner and let him talk.  Let your friends know that you are there for them, with your actions, as well as your words. -Be honest.  Honesty is the most important key to making any relationship work, and last.  Always tell the truth.  It’s that simple.  Honesty, integrity, authenticity, and trust – they all go hand in hand.  Do what you say you are going to do.  Show up when expected.  There is no need to judge or criticize, allow your friend to be himself, as they allow you to be yourself.  -Be present.  When you are with your friends, really be with your friends.  Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by your iPhone or anything that is happening outside of the present moment.  Listen, and respond.  Make this time together your priority.  Enjoy your friendship, relax and be yourself. -Be in touch.  Check in with your friends.  Ask how they are doing.  Know what is happening in their lives.  Invite people over.  Connect.  Years go by really quickly, and before you know it, friendships fade away.  Take just a moment to touch base with your friends and let them know that you appreciate them.  Show this person in your life how wonderful they are, and much they mean to you.  Send birthday cards, make phone calls, and write thank you notes.  Share photos online, and stay involved even from afar. -Be mindful.  If a relationship is draining you, if it no longer serves you, or makes you feel bad, then it’s time to walk away.  Relationships should be healthy, and make you feel good.  The best friendships nurture your spirit.  So if a relationship is toxic, then follow the environmental tip and “reduce” it from your life.  Remember that your first relationship is with yourself.  Be true to yourself.

November 4. This will always be such an important day in my life. This is the day my first child was born. I remember the day so well. And that day my life changed more than it ever has. Freddy has taught me so much. He was never an “easy” kid. He challenges me at every turn. I have learned more about patience, and acceptance, and unconditional love than I ever thought possible. Being Freddy’s mom has made me grow, and become more of who I am. I remember the days of Ninja Turtles, of Power Rangers, of X-Men. I remember the play-dates, the birthday parties, the favorite socks. There were struggles, and there were triumphs. And I can honestly say that we have never been bored! Now my baby has become an adult. This is his 18th birthday. Though Freddy’s childhood may be coming to an end, my motherhood continues. My role will change, as it should, but I will always be Freddy’s mom. Now instead of action figures, Freddy is collecting college applications. Freddy is making his own “Mac N Cheese” and I’m sending him quarters for his laundry. Freddy is still blazing the trail for all of us in the family. He was the first child, first grandchild, first cousin, and now he’s the first adult of this new generation. We’re all getting used to the idea, because the other kids are following close behind! ]]>