AYURVEDASUBSCRIBE to the NEWSLETTER!Book a Session with Lissa on Intro
Coffeytalk on Facebook
Coffeytalk on Youtube
Coffeytalk on Instagram
Coffeytalk on Amazon
Coffeytalk on Spotify
Lissa Coffey Podcasts on iTunes Connect
Book a Session with Lissa on Intro
buttonlayer2
04 Oct

Altars of Power and Grace

By Robin Mastro

Transform your life through the wisdom of ancient India with a dash of modern magic. Altars have the power to create positive change through the beauty they bring into your life

I stumbled upon the concept of creating transformative altars based on Vedic knowledge. It began with three large, time-consuming events that were vying for my time and attention at the same time: The first was the remodel of a house my husband, Michael, and I bought to move into in Seattle. We were overseeing the remodel incorporating Vastu principles of architectural design. The second was the graduate program I was doing at Antioch University, and third, was a quickly approaching trip to India.

That was a lot for me to juggle in any one year, yet alone over the course of a few months. The time to address my Graduate Committee with my thesis was due just weeks after returning from India. I felt pressured with the prospects and thought I either had to drop out of school while this renovation and trip were happening, or somehow use whatever I was about to see and learn in India in my final project for school.

I decided to drop out of school for the semester and on my way in to school one morning, driving on the I-90 floating bridge heading west I heard a voice, so clear and strong coming from the back seat that said, “Don’t do it!” I actually turned to look to see who was there…and then I took the first exit, once over the bridge and through the tunnel, and headed for Michael’s office, which was just down the street. I remember turning off the engine and just sitting in the parking lot for the longest time rather stunned. Then, I turned around and went home not knowing how it was all going to turn out, but trusting that I could handle whatever was next.

That was a pivotal moment; one that changed the course of my life even before I knew it. The remodel of the house was moving forward and Michael and I left for India. I was on a quest…in fact the entire group of us who met up in Bangalore were on a quest together. It was 1998 and there were, traveling throughout India north to the Himalayas with renowned spiritual teacher, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, the founder of The Art of Living Foundation

Everywhere we went, people honored the Divine through sacred ritual known as puja. Ordinary people and powerful priests all preform these beautiful, intricate ceremonies honoring the holy traditions they follow. They are done in ancient temples and people’s homes, in shops in towns we visited, and at outdoor weddings. Throughout India, and in Bali, Europe, Mexico and Egypt for that matter, everywhere we had traveled in the past decade, I saw how people of these distinctly varied cultures honored the forces of nature, acknowledging the Divine, all-knowing presence at play in their lives.

It was in Rishikesh, on the banks of the Ganges, walking through huge crowds of sadhus and wandering cows who had gathered on their way to Hardiwar for the Kumbha Mela that I had this expanded thought. It was about the design of sacred altars used for thousands of years. My thought focused on the five elements already used in the ancient ceremony known as puja. I wondered what would happen if I arranged the items in this sacred ceremony differently, using principles of placement from Vastu, the Vedic science of environmental harmony and wellbeing. Would it empower people? Change their lives in some notable way? Create a positive impact? That query became the basis for my thesis and our first book, Altars of Power and Grace ~ Create the Life You Desire, which won multiple awards including Book of the Year four times the year it was published.

My graduate research that followed our trip to India, and the impact these altars, designed in the Vedic tradition, have had on thousands of people’s lives over the past 20+ years astounds me to this day. Through our three books, various workshops, and now our upcoming course on altars, we have shared our life’s work and it has been purely transformational. Altars are like homing devices for your highest intentions to manifest in your life. The alchemy is powerful and the impact, life-changing.

You can learn more about Vastu altars and how they will transform your life and connect you more deeply with your dreams and heart’s desires. We’ve launched a brand new, 6-week course, “Altars of Power and Grace”, beginning October 22. Click here to learn more

Robin Mastro

Share this
22 Jul

Cultivating Mindful Awareness for Better Focus

By Juliet Dreamhunter

Recent research has brought into focus an intriguing aspect of human behavior: the fleeting nature of our attention span. There are times when it feels like we’re just programmed to lose our focus and get easily sidetracked from achieving anything we had in mind.

Doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of a fascinating book or a critical work project. When suddenly your phone pings with a notification, without even thinking about it, you probably reach to check it. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, much like the startle response to a loud sound or the flinch from a sudden bright light. You might think, “It’s just the way I’m wired. I can’t resist these distractions.”

Where did this notion come from? Well, it turns out that the roots of this quick-to-react tendency trace all the way back to our early ancestors, even though they didn’t have any of the technological miracles we enjoy today. In a world where immediate responses often meant the difference between survival and extinction, being alert to potential threats and reacting swiftly was a valuable asset.

Those survival instincts, hardwired in our brains through centuries, manifest in our modern world as a proneness to distractions. You see, when we shift our focus, the decision-making part of our brain lights up, similar to our ancestors’ brains reacting to danger signals.

But there’s a twist to this tale. Our brains are incredibly sophisticated, not just reacting to the world around us but also predicting what comes next. How does this work, you wonder?

From our early years, our brains start forming rules and patterns based on our experiences. Over time, these rules solidify, helping us make sense of the world. The ping from your phone, therefore, isn’t just a sound; it’s a cue that your brain associates with new information, an exciting social interaction, or even an urgent task.

Now, this is where the story takes a turn. There’s a growing school of thought that suggests our focus isn’t a finite, easily exhaustible resource. Instead, it’s something we can shape, control, and even cultivate. In other words, we’re not mere puppets pulled by the strings of an uncontrolled, easily distractible brain (as opposed to our less lucky animal friends. As humans, we have the power to reshape our brain in order to manage how we interact with our surroundings.

Additionally, our relationship with the environment isn’t as one-sided as it might seem. It’s easy to believe that our surroundings primarily dictate where our attention goes. However, it’s more of a two-way street.

Our bodily and emotional state also play a significant role. For instance, if you’re tired or hungry, your ability to focus on a complex task may falter. Conversely, if you’re well-rested and content, the same task may seem much easier to tackle.

This shift in perspective can be a game-changer for someone struggling to become more focused. It suggests we’re not just passive participants in a world full of distractions. Instead, we actively create our reality! We choose which stimuli to process as valuable information and which ones to dismiss as noise. It’s a bit like being a DJ, selecting the tracks that best fit the mood and skipping the ones that don’t.

Now that we’ve established this, let’s delve deeper and explore how we can use this understanding to our advantage. How can we cultivate this power to choose, control, and refine our focus? This is where mindfulness and meditation enter the picture.

Mindfulness is the practice of deliberately focusing on the present moment without judgment. It’s like training your mind to remain balanced on a tightrope, not wandering into the past or the future. And the best part? You can exercise this mental muscle anywhere, anytime.

Whether you’re sipping your morning coffee, listening to a friend, or merely breathing, mindfulness can be integrated into every aspect of your life.

Meditation, a most commonly known practice of mindfulness, can be particularly effective in enhancing our focus. In a way, it’s like hitting the gym, but for your mind. Regular meditation practice can help strengthen our ‘attention muscle’, making it less prone to distractions. In other words, it equips us with the ability to be in control of our own attention, consciously deciding where our focus goes.

By practicing mindfulness and meditation, we can harness our power to create our reality. These tools allow us to rewrite the rules formed by our brains, to modify the patterns that have solidified over time. Through this, we can transform our interactions with the world, making our experiences more meaningful and focused.

Now, the next question is, how can we use these tools to rediscover who we truly are? With the power to control our focus and consciously create our reality, the journey of self-discovery becomes all the more interesting.

Bio:

Juliet Dreamhunter is a certified goal success coach and the founder of Juliety.

Share this
17 Jan

Sleep Traditions Around the World

Everybody sleeps. We need sleep to stay alive. It’s our “reboot” time for the brain and body. But throughout history and cultures, sleep traditions vary. We already know “why” we sleep, and that doesn’t change no matter where we go. So, let’s explore the When, How, Who, Where and What in the worldwide study of sleep.

 

When and How Much We Sleep

 

Back in prehistoric days, sleep was likely broken up into two or more chunks during the long nights of winter months. This is known as “biphasic” or “polyphasic” sleep, and it continues in some nomadic and hunter-gatherer societies today. This sleep pattern allows people who need it more flexibility to sleep on and off throughout the day or night depending on their circumstances and what needs to be done.

 

In early farming societies, the typical sleep routine was to rise with the sun and sleep in the dark hours of night. This continuous, uninterrupted sleep is called “monophasic” sleep. With the introduction of electricity in the mid-1800s, which brought with it artificial light, people started staying up later. Now we get much less sleep than our ancestors did in the days before the lightbulb!

 

When television first came into our homes there were limited broadcast hours. No programming late at night meant nothing else to do, so people often went to bed when the shows ended. But now we not only have multiple channels of round-the-clock television, we’ve also got 24-hour access to the internet, meaning continuous entertainment, and many distractions to keep us up at night. Because of this, bedtimes have gotten later, yet we still need to get up early to get to work. It’s no surprise than 48% of Americans say they don’t get enough sleep.

 

Because of this, the nap is experiencing a kind of renaissance. Naps, or “siestas,” have been a long held tradition among adults in many countries, including Spain. In Japan, it is customary to take a work nap, called an “inemuri,” in order to increase productivity and show professional commitment to the job. Despite the inemuri, long work hours prevail, and hence the quality of nighttime sleep has deteriorated. It seems that sleep is more undervalued in Japan than anywhere else in the world, and sleep deprivation is endemic. In the United States, “nap pods” have become trendy in some companies. Employees are encouraged to use their break times for a quick nap in the hopes that they come back to work refreshed and energized. Though this isn’t always the case. Naps can interfere with much-needed nighttime sleep, and if people sleep too little, or too much during naptime, they can feel more groggy than they did before the nap.

 

Sleep patterns vary from country to country. One study from the OECD (Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development) showed than while overall participants got about 7.5 hours of sleep a night, the results from individual countries had quite a range. For example, in Japan the average night’s sleep duration for a person was 6 hours and 53 minutes, while in Portugal the average was 8 hours and 24 minutes. France came in at almost 9 hours, while the USA and Spain came in at about 8.5 hours a night.

 

When it comes to bedtime, it’s no surprise that Japan has the latest time – 16% of Japanese high school students say they go to bed after 1 am. And the early-riser award goes to Australia, with 12% of people getting up before 5 am.

 

 

Who We Sleep With

 

Who sleeps with us in the bed, or even in the room, has an influence on how much sleep we get at night. “Co-sleeping,” where the baby sleeps in the same bed as the mother, was popular until the 1800s, and is still common practice in many traditional or developing countries. Some experts claim that this facilitates bonding and breastfeeding on demand. They say it reduces stress on the mother and the baby as well as being practical. Others say that co-sleeping makes the child too dependent on the mother, and interferes with the parents’ relationship. The U.S. and some parts of Europe, including the United Kingdom, are in the minority of countries where parents expect their children to sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms.

 

In some countries, like Afghanistan for instance, family members all sleep in the same room. In the morning, they fold up their beds and blankets to make use of the room for other activities.

 

You might remember the “I Love Lucy” show, where Lucy and Ricky shared a bedroom and they each had their own twin-sized bed. Mostly that was done for the purposes of “standards and practices” of the network who didn’t want to show anything too racy on television. But that sleeping arrangement was also the case in many households at that time, as standardized sizes for king and queen mattresses didn’t hit the market until 1958. But even today, one in four U.S. couples sleep apart, for comfort or convenience, they just prefer it that way.

 

Worldwide, many more couples prefer to sleep apart. Studies show that 25-50% of married couples in Japan have either separate beds or separate rooms. In Canada, that number is 30-40%.

 

 

Where We Sleep and What We Sleep On

 

Here in the U.S. the King and California King mattresses are favorites for couples, but these large sizes aren’t as popular in other parts of the world.  In Germany for example, as well as Austria and Switzerland, a fashionable option is the paired double bed. That way the mattresses can be divided into two parts and there are more ways the room can be arranged.

 

Japan introduced the U.S. to the futon, and because of its flexibility, doubling as a couch for extra seating, they’ve become trendy with college students and young people. Most people in Japan use western-style mattresses, but the futon, and even the Tatami mat, still remain viable options for sleeping. In Central and South America hammocks are often used at siesta time, and in some areas, they are the go-to for nighttime sleeping as well. In areas of the world where mosquitoes, and malaria are a problem, beds are covered with special nets to keep the bugs out.

 

People everywhere in the world seem to acclimate to their environment so that they can sleep. Even in busy, urban areas like Cairo, or New York City, where there is traffic noise at all times of day and night, people can sleep with their windows open. Usually we think we need quiet to sleep, but after a long period of exposure, that noise becomes “white noise” and we don’t notice it as much. It’s likely a survival instinct of the human body! While many people enjoy peace and quiet, or soft meditative music to lull them to sleep, others say they like to fall asleep with the television on. Those TV watchers clearly haven’t read the advice from The Better Sleep Council – no technology in the bedroom!

 

No matter where in the world you live, or how much sleep you get, or who you sleep with, you will certainly get a better quality of sleep when you sleep on a quality mattress. Sweet Dreams!

 Lots of Sleep Tips at BetterSleep.org

Share this
06 Mar

Did You Know…? Entrancing Sleep Trivia!

When you need some stimulating party conversation, why not talk sleep? The topic of sleep is far from a snoozefest! I’ve scoured the internet to uncover some captivating tidbits that are sure to get your audience’s attention!

 

Can’t Sleep?

  • More than 70 million Americans suffer from a sleep disorder. 60% of those have a chronic disorder, meaning it has occurred over a long period of time.
  • There are at least 84 different sleep disorders identified by researchers.
  • Insomnia is almost twice as common in women as it is in men.
  • New parents will miss an average of six month’s sleep during the first two years of their baby’s life.
  • Neither mother’s nor father’s pre-pregnancy sleep pattern fully recovers even when the child reaches six years of age.
  • 50% of women with children, and 41% of women without children, say that sleep is the best way for them to recharge.
  • Sleep deprivation was used as an interrogation technique dating back to the 16th The United Nations recognizes sleep deprivation as a form of torture, and it is now illegal in many countries.
  • Adults get tired when they haven’t gotten enough sleep, but children often react by becoming hyperactive. When a child stays up too late or misses a nap, the body makes more cortisol and adrenaline so that he can stay awake. Parents often describe this as the child “fighting sleep.”
  • Stress is cited as the culprit in 65% of people who say they have problems sleeping.

 

Sleep History

  • The legend of the “Sandman” originated in European folklore. This traditional character appears in many children’s books and stories. The Sandman is said to sprinkle sand or dust on the eyes of children at night to help them fall asleep and have sweet dreams. The morning grit found in the corners of the eyes upon waking was supposed to be the result of the Sandman’s visit the night before.
  • “Mr. Sandman” is a popular song written by Pat Ballard in 1954 and recorded by the Chordettes and the Four Aces.
  • In Greek mythology, the god of sleep is Hypnos. Sleep-inducing plants such as poppies grew at the entrance of Hypnos’ home. The name Hypnos is the origin of the word “hypnosis.”
  • The 97th Pokémon (an internationally popular Japanese media franchise) character is named Hypnos, and its signature power is putting others to sleep.
  • In Roman mythology, the god of sleep is named Somnus. From Somnus come the words somnolent meaning sleepy, and insomnia, or “not” sleep.
  • William Shakespeare made several references to sleep in his plays. His accurate depictions of insomnia have led scholars to think that Shakespeare likely suffered from insomnia himself.

 

Sleep Behavior

  • Who sleeps? All complex living organisms including mollusks, insects, amphibians, birds, and mammals… except for:
  • Jellyfish don’t sleep because they don’t have a brain.
  • Sea Urchins also do not have a brain, so they do not sleep
  • Bullfrogs don’t sleep, they are alert both day and night. Scientists haven’t figured out why this is yet.
  • Some insects, such as butterflies, don’t technically “sleep” but rather enter a state known as “torpod” where the body temperature is lowered and they appear dormant. This enables them to go without food for longer periods of time.
  • A baby dolphin doesn’t sleep for the first full month of her life. The mother also stays awake during this time to protect her child from predators until she can fend for herself.
  • Rather than sleeping through the night, giraffes take short power naps in the daytime. It is important for them to stay alert so that they don’t fall down or become vulnerable to a predator. They get about 2 hours of sleep total in a day.
  • Whales also nap in 10-15-minute breaks, and only get about 1 ½ hours of sleep a day. Sperm whales sleep vertically, so that it looks like they are sleeping standing up.
  • Koalas are known as the animals who sleep the most, up to 22 hours a day.
  • Housecats sleep from 16-20 hours a day, with newborn and elderly cats sleeping the most. However, cats can awaken almost instantly if they hear a strange sound. It is a part of the nature that they inherited from their wild counterparts. They are always alert, even when they sleep.
  • We have an average of four to six dreams each night, even if we don’t remember those dreams. About two hours of sleep each night is spent dreaming.

 

Do you have some interesting Sleep Trivia to share? We’d love to hear it! Please post on the Better Sleep Council’s Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/BetterSleepOrg

 

 

https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/data_statistics.html

https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/42/4/zsz015/5289255

https://www.optalert.com/sleep-deprivation-as-a-form-of-torture/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15124720/

https://www.verywellfamily.com/reasons-your-child-may-be-hyperactive-1094971

https://bettersleep.org/research/survey-gender-affects-sleep-and-stress/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandman

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnos

https://animalhow.com/which-animals-do-not-sleep-5-species/

https://returntonow.net/2020/11/29/sleeping-whales-photographer-reveals-what-whales-look-like-when-they-snooze/

http://www.animalplanet.com/pets/normal-sleep-time-for-a-cat/

 

Share this
16 Oct

Sleep! It’s Good for Your Bones

There’s a phrase that’s often used when we feel tired – the need to “rest our weary bones.” An interesting bone density study shows us that we should take this phrase literally! Researchers from the Medical College of Wisconsin found that sleep actually helps to build up our bones.

 

In the study, done with lab rats, scientists found that a lack of sleep resulted in the interruption of new bone formation. In addition to this, the bones the rats already had continued as usual to decrease in density. When it came to bone marrow, they found a decrease in the fat, and an increase in platelet-generating cell. What all this means is that the rats in the study experienced greatly diminished flexibility, and more fragile bones.

 

Another study from China looked at the association between a reduction in sleep and lower bone density in middle-aged and older women, and found a correlation. A study in Norway found that there was a 52% increased risk of osteoporosis, a condition where the bones become weak and brittle, for those suffering from insomnia.

 

We can learn from this that in order to have healthy bones, the body must be able to go through this bone remodeling cycle. The process is also vital to keep the body flexible so that we can avoid fractures. With our usual activities, we recover from normal bone wear quickly. However, when sleep deprivation negatively influences bone remodeling, bone density may decrease. So, we can become less flexible, more prone to fractures, and more susceptible to osteoporosis. There’s no doubt about it – sleep is essential for bone health.

 

But here’s the problem: Osteoporosis is associated with aging. And as we get older, it can be more difficult to get that good night’s sleep that we need. One reason for this is that melatonin, also known as the “sleep hormone” because it impacts sleep, decreases with age. The body produces melatonin based on the amount of light that we are exposed to. Getting some sunlight in the daytime helps the body to produce melatonin at night when it is dark. The combination of lower melatonin levels that come with age, with a loss of sleep puts us in a downward spiral that accelerates bone loss.

 

We can’t avoid aging, and we can’t control some of the other risk factors for osteoporosis such as:

– Women are more likely to get osteoporosis, particularly after menopause.

– White folks and Asian folks have a higher risk for osteoporosis than other ethnic groups.

– Tall people, those 5 feet 7 inches or taller, and those who weigh less than 125 pounds have an increased risk.

– Those with a family history of osteoporosis or a diagnosis of a hip fracture, are more at risk.

– Those over the age of 50, who have had previous fractures from low-level injuries, are more likely to be diagnosed with osteoporosis.

 

Fortunately, there are many things that can control to fend off osteoporosis, including staying active and mobile. And there are steps we can take to make sure we get the good sleep that our bones require to remain healthy.

 

1) Increase melatonin. Besides helping with sleep, melatonin also functions as an antioxidant, reducing damage caused to bones from activity and free radicals in the environment.  It can help us to heal from fractures and surgeries. While melatonin supplements can cause us to become dependent on them, there are many other natural options to help amp up our melatonin production. Get some sunlight every day, and sleep in a dark, or dimly lit room. Add melatonin-rich foods to your diet: Sunflower seeds, alfalfa sprouts, almonds, eggs, goji berries, and tart cherries are a few examples.

 

2) Get daily exercise. Even just 10 minutes of aerobic exercise can help you sleep better at night. Be sure to exercise during daylight hours, not too close to bedtime. You need time to recover and relax after exercise. Weight-bearing exercise has been shown to be beneficial for bone health. Weighted vests for walking have become a popular and safe way to exercise without overdoing it. Yoga helps to increase flexibility and balance, reducing the risk of falls and fractures.

 

3) Minerals and Vitamin D. Magnesium has been hailed as a sleep-helper, and it is also great for building strong bones. Calcium, iron, and zinc are also known to help protect against osteoporosis. Vitamin D helps the body to absorb calcium, so it plays a key role in fighting osteoporosis. You can get Vitamin D from exposure to sunlight, and also from saltwater fish, liver, or Vitamin D fortified foods.

 

4) Avoid alcohol and tobacco. We know that alcohol at night interferes with sleep, but did you know that alcohol is also linked to lower bone density? Tobacco is also a culprit. Avoid these substances as much as possible.

 

5) Maintain a healthy body weight. Obesity is associated with sleep apnea, which disturbs sleep.

 

6) Get screened. Talk with your doctor about getting an osteoporosis screening. Osteoporosis comes on slowly, you might not be aware that you have it until you actually break a bone. When identified early on, osteoporosis can be treated effectively before it causes bone fractures.

 

And lastly, make sure you are sleeping on a comfortable and supportive mattress. No two bodies are alike, we all have unique bones! When shopping for a mattress feel free to “test rest” each one by stretching out as you normally would while sleeping. Your mattress is an important ally in helping you to get the sleep you need to protect your bones.

 

FOR MORE SLEEP TIPS VISIT THE BETTER SLEEP COUNCIL’S WEBSITE: www.BetterSleep.org

 

RESOURCES:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22946089/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S8756328211011513

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/155646#causes-and-risk-factors

Share this
04 Apr

Moody Much?

Moody Much? The Effects of Sleep on Our Moods

By Lissa Coffey

 

Ever have one of those days? You know the ones – when you are out of sorts and easily irritated, when nothing seems to be working and everything takes more effort? We’ve all been there. And though we tend to blame the traffic, or our co-workers, or the weather, chances are the real culprit that we haven’t gotten enough sleep.

 

Sleep research shows that there is a definite correlation between being sleep deprived, and feeling angry, hostile, and irritable. In addition, a chronic lack of sleep is associated with depression and anxiety.

 

When it comes to emotions, sleep deprivation seems to be the cause of increased emotional reactivity. People who experience sleep loss are much more likely to have a negative reaction when things don’t go well for them. Why is this? It’s got to do with the brain and the part of the brain known as the amygdala. The amygdala is responsible for processing negative emotion. When we don’t get enough sleep there’s a disconnect between the amygdala and the area in the brain that regulates its functions. So, sleep loss affects us in two ways: we are more likely to experience negative emotions (or worse than usual negative moods), and we also have less of an ability to regulate those moods.

 

A lack of sleep also affects our positive moods – making them less positive. Without adequate sleep we feel less happy, less friendly, and less compassionate. Even when something great happens for us, for example we win an award, we don’t experience it as positively as we would have if we had gotten enough sleep. Even losing just one hour of sleep could cause us to feel nervous, hopeless, or restless.

 

The good news is that a good night’s sleep can restore these brain connections so that the next day we can do better, and be better, both socially and emotionally. And of course, it follows that adequate, quality sleep promotes positive moods and a sense of well-being.

 

By understanding that this is the case, we can avoid taking on big challenges or confrontations on those days when we haven’t had enough sleep the night before, thereby avoiding possible conflicts and disappointments. We can also wait until days we’ve slept well the night before to celebrate our accomplishments, so that we can enjoy the moment that much more. This understanding also helps us to be more patient with our friends, neighbors and co-workers, and maybe not take it too personally when they snap at us for seemingly no reason.

 

If sleep deprivation continues, emotional problems can become exacerbated. The risk for developing emotional disorders such as depression and anxiety increases. Lack of sleep over time can impair memory, cause us to exercise less and eat less healthfully. We also tend to be less likely to participate in social or leisure activities when we suffer from sleepiness. Chronic lack of sleep affects our relationships, and our work life. In terms of emotions, those few bad days of bad moods can end up turning into weeks as we fall into the habitual lack of sleep. A 1997 study found that insomnia, defined as habitual sleeplessness, or the inability to sleep, increases the risk of a person developing symptoms of depression by more than tenfold.

 

If you’ve been sleeping poorly or feeling depressed for four weeks or more then it is important to address the problem. Experts say that one of the first signs of depression is difficulty with sleep. Lack of sleep and depression often go hand in hand, and it can be difficult to determine which came first. Many who don’t sleep enough are depressed, and many who are depressed don’t sleep well. The same holds true for anxiety. Anxiety makes it difficult to fall asleep. It also makes it difficult to fall back to sleep when we wake up in the middle of the night. Stress affects us in the same way. It makes the body alert and aroused, in the “fight or flight” mode, so that we can’t relax enough to get to sleep. Depression and anxiety cause us to wake up more often in the night, which means we miss out on the vital deep sleep that the mind and body needs to function optimally.

 

Another sleep issue that comes with depression is “hypersomnia” or excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS). Hypersomnia is when you sleep too much and have trouble staying awake. People with hypersomnia feel abnormally sleepy even when they’ve gotten adequate sleep. As many as 40% of adults with depression struggle with this.

 

Treating a sleep issue often reduces the symptoms of depression and anxiety. When we sleep well, we feel good. Good sleep helps us to be happier by nurturing our mental and emotional resilience. Sleep also contributes to a robust immune system which helps the body to stay healthy.

 

As you can see, mental health and sleep are intricately connected in many ways. Help yourself to maintain emotional health by following the guidelines that the Better Sleep Council recommends for a good night’s sleep including:

 

– Making your bedroom a sleep sanctuary – keep electronics out, keep the room dark and cool, and invest in a comfortable supportive mattress

– Getting some exercise and sunshine daily

– Getting to bed by 10 pm, and avoiding screen time an hour before bed.

 

There are many more great sleep tips and articles on the BetterSleep.org website.

 

If you are concerned that you might be experiencing depression, or if you have been feeling hopeless and constantly tired for more than four weeks, reach out to a mental health professional. Not sleeping enough, or not getting enough quality sleep, despite following sleep recommendations, or feeling sleepy no matter how much sleep you are getting, could be symptoms of depression or anxiety. It is important to see a professional, especially if you are having suicidal thoughts. You can also call one of these hotlines:

 

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

MentalHelp hotline: 1-888-993-3112

 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201401/between-you-and-me

 

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/emotions-cognitive

 

http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/need-sleep/whats-in-it-for-you/mood

 

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Mood-and-sleep

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6386825/

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety-insomnia

 

 

 

Share this
05 Feb

Living Insightfully

An excerpt from Radical Intuition by Kim Chestney

Throughout the ages, the most extraordinary human beings — from Einstein, DaVinci, and Joan of Arc to Steve Jobs, Oprah, and Stephen Hawking — have attested to one common factor as the secret to their life success: Intuition.

 

In her new book Radical Intuition: A Revolutionary Guide to Using Your Inner Power, author Kim Chestney reveals an all new understanding of intuition and how to use it to live an extraordinary life. We hope you will enjoy this excerpt from the book.

 

# # #

 

To live intuitively means honoring our inner voice over the voice of the world. Once we realize that we can trust our self above all others, we live our lives differently. We make our choices differently; we aspire differently; we understand one another differently; we experience the world in a whole new way. When we follow our intuition, we participate in something that touches the depth of our being — something more profound than we know.

 

We become extraordinary by making intuition an ordinary part of life, by relying on it so much that it becomes second nature. With every step of the way guided by higher insight, we are more aligned with our own success, happiness, and personal growth. As more and more people around the world do this, we begin to normalize intuition. Any and all of us can use our intuition to improve all aspects of our lives.

 

Intuition should be a normal part of life because learning to use your intuition is no different than learning to use your intellect. Intelligence and intuition are two sides of the same coin; when they work together, they create an extraordinary mind. We go to school to get smarter, so why shouldn’t we go to school to become more intuitive? Now that we are learning more about the way intuition works, we can embrace new opportunities to rebalance the two complementary aspects of our cognitive nature.

 

This revolutionary union of once-seeming opposites — bringing the thinking mind and the intuiting mind together — is a reflection of the fusion that will define life in the years ahead. With this togetherness, we become wiser and more insightful as a collective people.

 

With intuition in the mix, we move deeper into the experience of life and the connected awareness that unites us all. When we create a culture of intuition, we create a culture of unity, of inclusivity, of the interconnected human experience.

 

Beyond Mindfulness into Insightfulness

In recent years, the practices of mindfulness, presence, and meditation have become the cornerstones of our culture and personal development. The power of being still has become a crucial counterpoint to the busy world we live in today. In the stillness, we find our peace, but it is in the stillness, too, that we find our power.

 

To be mindful is to be aware. It is an awareness of life, an awakening from our unconscious habits, thoughts, and actions. Living consciously, we embody a new sense of presence in all we do — with an ability to fully embrace each moment. In the ever-present now, we escape the traps of the mind — habitual judgment, relentless thinking, fear. We move out of the constant flow of thought into the quiet space between those thoughts — the stillness. But the stillness is not empty; extraordinary things await there.

 

In the silence of your quieted mind, in the space between thoughts, the voice of intuition arrives. The stillness speaks. Only in the place of no-mind can you hear your intuition. The thinking mind is a bully; only when it settles down can your inner wisdom get through to gently touch you. Whether in meditation, in the shower, or during a walk in the woods, insight draws close when the critical mind is far away.

 

Radical Insight

Here, in the mindful place of peace, you can receive your greatest power — the extraordinary insight of higher awareness. First, we become mindful; then, we become insightful. Presence is the gateway to insight; insight leads us to the truth. All wisdom and creativity emerge from the still, quiet gap between your thoughts.

 

This is why stillness, the silence of meditation, is not the final destination for those of us who are still at work in the world. We are not ready to retreat to the mountaintops; we still have work to do. We have a world to change. We have a life to live and a spirit to evolve. We can be, but we still have to do.

 

This is not an either-or situation. Like yin and yang, our fulfillment comes with the union of complementary forces — the balance of existence and experience, of awareness and actualization. The completeness of our human condition requires us to be both mindful and insightful, to be aware and to become more aware. Insight brings the gift of more awareness.

 

In the refuge of stillness, intuition is your guide. The practices of meditation and conscious living enable you to move into the calm center of your being. Then what? Out of the tranquility, your inner voice calls you to what’s next: the next thought that will change the way you understand your life; the next idea that will improve it; the next action you can take to further elevate your consciousness. Real illumination comes from both contemplative stillness and inspired action — the two complementary paths to enlightenment.

 

# # #

 

Kim Chestney is the author of Radical Intuition. A globally recognized innovation leader and the founder of Intuition Lab, her work has been featured or supported by leading-edge organizations including SXSW Interactive, Carnegie Mellon University, Comcast, and Hewlett-Packard. She lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Visit her online at http://www.KimChestney.com.

 

Excerpted from the book Radical Intuition. Copyright ©2020 by Kim Chestney. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

Share this
10 Jan

Now You Can Live a Spark-filled Life

Guest Post by Stephanie James

What does it mean to live a “spark-filled” life?  It means being lit up from the inside, learning how to befriend yourself and make yourself a priority in your own life, and it means being fully alive and living your life full of authenticity, purpose and passion.

But how do we get there? We’ve all heard the expression, “Just be your own best friend!” but after 30 years in the mental health and personal development field, I know, it just isn’t that easy.  It truly starts with the art of learning to befriend yourself first.

Just imagine when you meet a new friend.  You don’t instantly trust them with your deepest, darkest secrets, nor do you automatically feel you can rely on them to be there for you when times get tough. A friendship like that takes time to cultivate.  The same is true when you are growing a relationship with yourself. You have to begin by being someone that you can rely on; to know that you have your own back and will show up for yourself when you need to.

A great way to do this is to establish a morning routine that is focused on self-care.  Use the first hour or half hour of your day to exercise, meditate, and write in a gratitude journal. Write the things you are thankful for each day, even if they are small and seem the same each day. We can be thankful for our warm bed, having hot water in the shower, and having food to eat. This doesn’t have to be big things. Then, when you are finished, put your hand on your heart and allow yourself to marinate on these good feelings.  By focusing on these feelings, you are actually telling your brain, that likes to purge information unless it is useful for our survival, “Hey! Pay attention! This is important! File this!”

Make this sacred time. I use a wall calendar to mark off when I show up for myself like this and instead of crossing off the day, I put a heart on the calendar. It is wonderful to see a full month filled with hearts and see how I have been truly loving to myself. When you show up for yourself each morning in this way, you begin to build a relationship with yourself; you begin to build trust with yourself and can begin to rely on yourself to have your best interest in mind.

I have worked with hundreds of people who find the simple act of establishing a morning self-care routine truly transformative.  It is one of the least selfish things you can do.  By making yourself a priority and taking care of yourself, you are giving to yourself in a way that will create more resiliency, calm, and well-being and you will be sharing with others from a place of fulness, rather than from a place of lack.

The next thing, I find that is really important in igniting your sparks, is to take time to truly explore what it is that lights you up! One of the ways I encourage clients to explore this, actually might seem a bit counter-intuitive at first, but it is amazingly helpful.  I encourage people to first get in touch with what their limiting beliefs are that prevent them from living the kind of “spark-filled” life that they would like to have. We often don’t realize that our words and actions are being driven by these unconscious beliefs, that are often pick up in childhood when we were in theta brain wave state and we took others opinions of us to be the truth. These beliefs can go so underground, that we don’t even realize what they are, we just know the outward manifestation (such as, I don’t have the job, relationship, self-esteem, etc. that I desire in my life.)

The way to begin “unearthing” these limiting beliefs, is to grab your journal and write a list of the areas in your life: relationship, career, finances, friendships, health and fitness, body image, spirituality, and self-concept.  Now, write down where you see yourself in all of these areas in one column and in the next, write down where you would like to be. When you look at each area, begin to notice the beliefs that come up in-between these two columns.  I worked with a man whose father had told him as a child, “Rich people are really unhappy!” Without realizing this, my client had internalized his father’s words and they had become a self-limiting belief that had kept him from being truly wealthy. Subconsciously, he had adopted the belief that if he were to become rich, then he would also become unhappy. When he became aware of that limiting belief, he then had the power to change it.

Now the fun part.  Take each of your limiting beliefs, and on a totally separate page, write down what you would like to believe about yourself instead and put a couple steps of action underneath each. An example would be:

“I am healthy and fit.”

  1. I work out 30 minutes per day.
  2. I eat healthy and nutritious foods.

This then becomes an Affirmation Action Plan that you read out loud to yourself each day that begins to prime your mindset and change your belief structure. Research tells us it takes 21-30 days for something to become a habit; that’s why so many exercise plans and diets are 30-day plans. In 30 days, your brain begins to automate the information and it becomes easier and easier to follow through (and believe.)

Lastly, one of things that can help you ignite the sparks within yourself, is to write out a list of the things that bring you pleasure. With all that is going on in the world today, it is easy to get distracted and forget some of the simple things that bring joy to your life.  I have clients begin their list with bringing in all of their senses; such as, “What tastes bring me pleasure? What smells bring me pleasure? What sights bring me pleasure? Etc.” As you begin to write your list, let yourself marinate on the good feelings that arise.  When we hold up images in our mind, our mind experiences them as happening “Now”; just as when we are thinking about the future and we feel anxious- it’s not happening now, but physiologically we are experiencing it as “Now.” The same is true for our pleasurable memories.

Let yourself write as many things as you can think of, utilizing all of your senses.  The first morning’s sip of coffee, petting my dog Jewels, and opening the curtains in the morning so the light floods my house, are all simple but wonderful pleasures in my life. It is also a principal in physics that whatever you focus on expands. What you focus on, you will notice more of it. When you focus on noticing what lights you up, you will find yourself feeling more illuminated internally.

The spark is truly who we are inside; our true essence. Sometimes we just have to do a little excavation to let that light truly shine through.  Through befriending yourself, rewiring negative beliefs, and focusing on what truly brings you pleasure, you will be well on your way to experiencing greater well-being and creating a more meaningful, spark-filled life.


BIO

A seasoned psychotherapist, a dynamic public speaker, published author, and filmmaker, Stephanie James delivers her message in a powerful way to help others find their own internal sparks and create their best lives at the next level. Nominated for Fort Collins Woman of The Year in 2014 and a graduate of the University of Denver, Stephanie has an unrelenting commitment to help others ignite their best lives and to become the best versions of themselves.

The Spark with Stephanie James is a world-wide weekly radio and podcast created to help you live your best life. Her guests are luminaries in the fields of psychology, inspiration and motivation, science, entrepreneurialism, and more!  

Her book, The Spark, Igniting Your Best Life, is available on Amazon. A compelling and inspiring book, The Spark is an excellent guide.  Step by step, Stephanie James shows how to examine beliefs that don’t serve us, ways to develop more authentic and rewarding relationships (including with ourselves), and how to approach each day with zest. 

Stephanie has a passion for connecting with people from all walks of life and continues to fulfill her personal mission to bring as much love and healing to the world as possible. Her soon to be released film, When Sparks Ignite, is about the challenges we all face and how those challenges can actually become the match point that ignite something amazing within us that then can become our gift to the world. 

https://www.stephaniejames.world/

Share this
28 Nov

What Are You Wearing? The History of Sleepwear

Pajamas! That’s the popular answer to the “What are you wearing?” question these days. Maybe because we’re at home more, or we just want to feel comfortable and cozy with all the stress in the world, but either way pajamas are definitely a trend in the fashion world. It’s become quite common to see families all dressed up in matching pajamas in holiday pictures on social media!

The purpose of wearing pajamas, or any other sleepwear, is to feel warm and relaxed so that we can get a good night’s sleep. We have so many choices when it comes to sleepwear, so let’s take a look at the history of how these styles came about.

The earliest descriptions of “night clothes” comes from the Middle Ages in Europe. Typically, this consists of a shapeless cloth, similar to a tunic, made of plain linen. Linen was often the fabric of choice because it could absorb perspiration and body oils, and could be boiled and bleached when wash day came around. Both the men’s nightshirt and the women’s “bed smock” looked the same, basically rectangular pieces of fabric simply sewn together.

Later more variety of fabrics were used, including cotton and flannel. The length of the shirt also varied from below the knee to the floor.  Buttons were added, and the design of nightshirts became more distinguishable between men and women. Collars were added for men and lace, ribbons and ruffles for women, but for both men and women this was still a one-piece shirt – no pants!

Women’s nightshirts turned into nightgowns in the early 1900s with embroidered necklines, and fancy sleeves. By 1909 the trend turned less practical and more beautiful as nightgowns turned into negligees made of satin and silk. In 1933 Diana Vreeland, the editor of Vogue Magazine at the time, had negligees made in Paris sent to her in New York. Her friend, Mary d’Erlanger, a socialite and trend-setter, wore one of the luxurious pink nightgowns to an event as a ball gown and started a new fad.

Pajamas are thought to have originated in ancient India. The word pajama comes from the Hindi words pae jama, meaning leg clothing. These are typically loose-fitting trousers with a drawstring, or now the more modern elastic, waistband. It’s likely that the British, having spent time in India, adopted this tradition in the 1800s. In England, they spell the word pyjamas. Originally, having separate clothes just for sleeping was quite a luxury, so pajamas were considered just for the wealthy. As time went on, more people started wearing pajamas to stay warm, as it was expensive to heat the home. Then the upper class upgraded their sleepwear with fancier, more expensive fabrics to set themselves apart.

By the 1920s pajamas were a definite fashion statement, worn by movie stars of the day. Designers like Coco Chanel made pajamas glamourous with lace and silk and long, flowing matching robes. The trend didn’t last long, though, as World War II had people thinking about being practical and thrifty. Pajama styles returned to their simple nature by the end of the war.

In 1934 It Happened One Night became the first film to win all five major Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Adapted Screenplay. In the popular romantic comedy there is an iconic scene where Claudette Colbert wears Clark Gable’s tailored men’s pajamas. Of course, these pajamas went flying off the shelves of retailers all over the world! The style, a button-up shirt top with matching pants, has stood the test of time because it’s ideal for both men and women who want to look good and be comfortable while they sleep.

The 1950s brought more sleep style options for women, including “Baby Dolls” – pajama shorts with a loose top. By the mid 1980s sales of women’s pajamas outpaced sales of nightgowns. In 1977 Victoria’s Secret opened its first store in Palo Alto, California, offering women many more options in both lingerie and sleepwear. By the early 1990s the retailer had expanded to more than 350 stores nationwide, with sales of $1 billion. Now the company is still the largest lingerie retailer with more than 1000 stores. Perhaps their “secret” is in the many choices available to women.

When Marilyn Monroe was asked “What do you wear to bed?” she famously said: “Chanel Number Five.” Whether you get dressed, or undressed for sleep, make sure you get a great night’s sleep by sleeping on a supportive and comfortable mattress.

These days, “loungewear” is the term for clothing that can be worn to “lounge” or work at home. Yes, working and lounging are two different things. But the lines are blurred here… who hasn’t worn sweat pants with a suit shirt for a zoom conference call from home? Loungewear can be worn to yoga class, or to the grocery store, and it’s comfortable enough to sleep in. This ranges through anything from cute sweat suits, to knit pants called joggers, or leggings and a tee shirt. The options are numerous, and sales in this space are way up!

We tend to take it for granted that we have pajamas to change into when it’s time to go to bed. It’s a regular part of our nighttime routine, and helps us to get settled in for a good night’s rest. Yet there are many children for whom a pair of pajamas are just a dream. Whether they are homeless, or in foster care, many children live with uncertainty and without a stable environment. To help these kids, The Pajama Program was founded in 2001. This organization provides parents and caregivers with the resources and strategies they need to create and maintain a comforting bedtime routine for those in their care. The Pajama Program supplies inspiring storybooks and cozy pajamas to help parents and caregivers to connect with children at bedtime. We know that a good day begins with a good night’s sleep, and the Better Sleep Council has helped this cause by providing copies of “Freddy Bear’s Wakeful Winter” to The Pajama Program for distribution to the many caregivers they serve. For more information about The Pajama Program and how you can get involved, visit their website at PajamaProgram.org

Share this
04 Nov

Sleep Quotes and the Wisdom (or Not) Behind Them

Sleep is one thing we all have in common. No matter where you live, how old you are, or what language you speak, if you’re alive, then you sleep. Since we’ve all been doing this sleeping thing our whole lives, we might just have some thoughts to share on the subject. And if you happen to be a celebrity, these thoughts might be shared with the public. Let’s look at some of these famous quotes about sleep, and see if we’re getting good advice.

 

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”  – Benjamin Franklin

 

Franklin was likely speaking from experience. His routine was that he would sleep from 10 pm to 5 am. Today, that’s the same routine for other successful people, including Jeff Bezos and Arianna Huffington. Ellen DeGeneres gets in her eight hours from 11pm to 7pm. However, Elon Musk and Barack Obama get to bed later, at 1 am, and then sleep until 7 am. So, can we thrive on less sleep?

 

There’s more than comes into play, including how people spend their daytime hours. Are you getting enough exercise and sunshine? Are you eating healthy foods? The quality of sleep you get it also very important. A study at John Hopkins University found that short but uninterrupted sleep is better than long hours of interrupted sleep. This is because interruption doesn’t allow the brain to go through all the sleep stages we need for energy and mental alertness. So, if you are getting that deep, uninterrupted sleep, even for fewer hours, and you are functioning optimally during that day maybe you don’t need as much sleep.

 

Research has shown that a good night’s sleep does make us smarter – or at least perform better on tests. A study at KU Leuven University in Belgium found higher test scores for students who slept seven hours each night during the exam period than those who got less sleep. The research accounted for differences in study habits, health and socioeconomic backgrounds.

 

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours. – T. Boone Pickens

Here’s a successful guy who believed in balance. Work, sleep, and then also live your life. Good advice. If you’re working too much and not giving the mind some downtime to rest before sleep, you’ll have a more difficult time getting to sleep, and probably not sleep as well.

 

I need nine hours of sleep because of all the activity I do. It doesn’t always happen, but I really try. – Ana Ivanovic

 

8 hours sleep is average – the ballpark for most of us. But some people need less, like Elon Musk, apparently! And some of us need more, like pro tennis player Ana Ivanovic. You don’t have to be an athlete, either – expending mental energy also requires a body-mind reset through sleep. If you find yourself yawning in the afternoon, or feeling like you need a nap, you might just need more sleep at night. When you’re getting enough quality nighttime sleep you shouldn’t need to take a nap. Young children and the elderly are exceptions, they usually need a nap in the day.

 

I don’t sleep enough, and it does… what is the opposite of wonders… horrors. It does horrors for my skin. – Kate McKinnon

I think my biggest tip – and I consider it a part of my beauty routine – is getting my sleep, without a doubt. I do a true eight hours. – Tracee Ellis Ross

 

There’s a reason why we call it “Beauty Sleep” and these actresses will tell you! It works both ways. Get good sleep and it shows on your face – your skin, your eyes, your smile. Or stay up too late missing those precious sleep hours and that will show up on your face, too. There’s only so much that make-up can do to hide the signs of lack of sleep. Who better than an actress to confirm this?

 

I drink a ton of water. And I never go to bed too full. – Chrissy Teigen

 

Chrissy Teigen has the right idea when it comes to eating. It’s best not to go to bed on a full stomach, because then your body is busy digesting instead of focusing on getting you into a sleep state. But it’s also not good to go to bed hungry either. Chrissy posts on her Instagram account about her “night eggs” that she swears by for sleep. She eats one lightly seasoned hard-boiled egg before bed, and it give her just enough protein to get her through the night without being hungry. But when it comes to water – it’s great to drink water during the day, but definitely limit your intake after 7 pm or your sleep will be interrupted when you need to get out of bed to visit the bathroom!

 

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. – Phyllis Diller

Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night’s sleep and you can’t settle anything until morning anyway. -Rose Kennedy

 

I think we’ve all heard this from marriage and relationship experts: “Never go to bed angry.” Worst advice ever! What is the alternative? Like Phyllis Diller says, stay up and fight? I’m sure Phyllis was joking – how can anyone possibly sleep after getting all riled up in a heated argument? I think Rose Kennedy has a better idea. Never argue at night. Table the argument, go to sleep and figure it out in the morning. Chances are, after a good night’s sleep, the argument won’t seem so important anyway. You’ll be able to think more clearly and may even have dreamt up a solution to the problem!

 

Nothing makes you feel better than when you get into a hotel bed, and the sheets feel so good. Why shouldn’t you wake up like that every day? Spend money on your mattress and bedding because these things make a difference on your sleep and, ultimately, your happiness. -Bobby Berk

 

Bobby Berk is an interior designer and television host. He travels a lot for work, so he knows about staying in hotels. Many people experience a great night’s sleep when they stay in a hotel. And when they come home it’s just not the same. The difference? The mattress. Hotels are really good about getting fresh new mattresses all the time so that their guests are comfortable. So, Bobby is giving us really good advice. A new mattress is an investment in both our health and happiness. And of course, the bedding should feel good when you’re in bed, and look good enough to make you smile when you’re out of bed!

 

 

https://podcasts.hopkinsmedicine.org/december-24-2015-interrupted-sleep/

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/11/13/the-sleep-habits-of-highly-successful-people-infographic/#1459a7376d7f

 

https://nieuws.kuleuven.be/en/content/2014/for-better-marks-get-a-good-nights-sleep

 

 

Share this