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09 Nov

Catch a Dream: Native American DreamCatchers

You’ve probably seen Native American Dreamcatchers. They can be simple and sweet or intricate and elaborate. They look almost magical… and in a way, they are! Dreamcatchers date back to as early as 700 AE. Some historians consider the dreamcatcher to be a symbol of unity among the various Indian Nations.

 

Dreamcatchers are thought to have originated from the Ojibwa Chippewa tribe, primarily from the northern USA and Canada. Later they were passed down through the generations to other tribes, including the Lakota tribe, who created their own legends and stories to go with the Dreamcatchers. In the Ojibwa Dreamcatcher story, a maternal, and mystical “Spider Woman” named Asibikaashi watched over the people of the tribe, especially the young children. Spiders were thought to be a symbol of protection and comfort. As the Ojibwa tribe grew, and spread out over a larger territory, Asibikaashi had a difficult task in overseeing all of the members of the tribe as they moved further and further away. So, she created the first Dreamcatcher as a talisman for children to hang above their beds. Mothers and grandmothers followed the example, and made Dreamcatchers for their families as a way to protect them from nightmares.

 

In the Lakota legend, a great teacher of wisdom named Iktomi appeared in the form of a spider. Iktomi spoke to the spiritual leaders in a sacred language only they could understand. As he told the story of the cycle of life, he took an elder’s willow hoop, filled with offerings of feathers, beads, and horsehair, and he began to spin a web, moving from the outside edges to the center. He talked about how in life there are good forces and bad forces, and how the good forces will lead people in the right direction, and bad forces will lead people in the wrong direction, and hurt them. He told the elders to use the web to help themselves and their tribe to reach their goals, to make use of their good ideas, and dreams.

 

Native American folklore explains that the night air is filled with both good dreams and bad dreams. The Dreamcatcher attracts all kinds of thoughts and dreams in its web. Bad dreams get trapped in the net, where they are then destroyed by the morning sun. Good dreams pass through the hole in the center, and then glide down the feathers to the person sleeping below. For this reason, tradition says that Dreamcatchers, in order to work properly, need to hang over the bed.

 

Each part of the authentic Native American Dreamcatcher has a meaning tied to nature. The hoop, or circle, represents the circle of life, the shape of the planets, and also the circle that the sun and the moon travel across the night sky. The web itself is representative of a spider’s web, and a bead in the web represents the spider, the weaver of the web. Some say that smaller beads incorporated into the design represent good dreams and thoughts frozen in time as sacred charms. The feathers are like a soft ladder that the good dreams can descend to the sleeping child. An owl’s feather is symbolic of wisdom, and an eagle’s feather stands for courage.

 

For this reason, it is important that Dreamcatchers be made of all-natural materials. The best way to do that is to use items found right in your backyard, or on a nature walk.  You can make beads out of acorns or nutshells, or use wooden beads that are already made. Here’s a list of materials you can use – and feel free to add your own ideas to make the dream catcher special and meaningful to you. This is a great project to do with kids. Use your imagination, have fun and get creative with your design. If you’re looking for inspiration, check out some of the amazing designs on pinterest.

 

– A hoop – made from grapevine, willow, or soft, flexible tree branches. You can make this any size you like. A wooden embroidery hoop works well, too.

 

– Fabric – this can be cotton, ribbon, suede, or yarn

 

– String – twine, or macramé rope work well

 

– Beads – use beads made from nature, avoid plastic beads

 

– A feather, or more than one feather

 

As an option, there are Dreamcatcher “kits” you can buy that provide all the materials you need, but I think it’s more fun and authentic to make them from scratch.

 

Directions:

  1. Make a hoop. If using dry willow or grapevine, soak them in warm water for 15 minutes or so to soften so that they are easier to bend. Twist the vines into a circle shape and tie the ends together. Put a weight on top of the hoop so that it dries flat.

 

  1. When dry, cover the hoop with torn up scraps of fabric, ribbon, or yarn. Use any color you like. Feel free to use glue to keep everything in place. Make a hanging loop at the top so you can hang your dream catcher when done.

 

  1. Mark off 8 points evenly spaced on the hoop. These will be the points where to tie your twine or string. When you come all the way around, you’re ready to start the next “layer” of web. Tie a knot in the center of the string, and move to the center of each string with another knot. Keep going until you have the size of hole you want in the center. At some point, add a bead near the center to represent the spider.

 

  1. At the bottom of the hoop, add your feather. The feather should be directly opposite the hanging loop. If you are adding more than one feather, the longest feather should be at the bottom.

 

  1. Hang the dream catcher over your bed, and know that sweet dreams are headed your way!

 

RESOURCES:

 

www.dreamcatcher.com

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcatcher

http://www.dream-catchers.org/

 

 

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24 Nov

The Grief Path: Mourning the Love of Your Life

by Barbara Abercrombie, author of The Language of Loss:
Poetry and Prose for Grieving and Celebrating the Love of Your Life

I thought I knew about grief. I had been through the death of my parents. I certainly knew how much grief could hurt, how it could knock you flat like a wave sneaking up behind you. The difference is that when you’re an adult and a parent dies, you go back to your own life. When your spouse or partner dies you can’t do this, he or she was your life.

There’s no way to prepare for this kind of grief.  There’s no way to imagine what it’s like when the person you’ve loved and shared your life with vanishes. No way to comprehend the long journey ahead of you. How do you find a path for it? Can there even be a path through grief? And where can it lead?

With the first step into this new, unwanted future, I discovered the busyness of the newly bereaved – the necessity of things to be done. Decisions for a service and burial, an obituary to write, miles of paperwork, juggling a stepfamily, my own family, and friends. Then the service was over, family went home, many friends went back into couples, thank you notes were written, the paper work got done, and I felt more alone than I’ve ever been in my whole life. There was no path, only getting through it day by day, sometimes hour by hour.

One of my daughters thought I should join a grief group, which sounded like an oxymoron. My grief felt too singular, too deranged for a group. A stepdaughter wanted me to move out of the house so it could be sold. Blended families can add another layer of grief.

Reading and writing have always been my way through bad times. In the echoing silence of the months after my husband died, I looked to poetry and stories for solace. I wanted company –  poets and writers who had lost the love of their life and could put the chaos into words for me. “Help me. Remind me why I’m here,” is the final line of a poem by Kim Addonizio that I read over and over during those first few months I was a widow. This poem said exactly what I was feeling but couldn’t say to anyone, and though I wept every time I read it, I felt I wasn’t alone. The writer of this poem knew exactly what I was going through. That was comfort.

Mark Doty wrote in his memoir that while grieving for his partner he learned that “Being in grief, it turns out, is not unlike being in love.” I wrote pages and pages in my journal about my husband, us, our life – lovestruck as well as griefstruck. I started writing a memoir about his final year. I talked to him, not only on paper and in my head but also out loud. I would go into his closet and touch his shirts; his shoes made me cry. I couldn’t stand silence, yet music – whether country or opera – was too emotional to listen to, so I kept talk radio on day and night. When I was writing and I heard someone say on the radio the same word I had just written, I thought my husband was trying to reach me in code.  Hope. Voice. Time. Self. Paper. I made lists of the words and tried to turn them into poems.

Jack Gilbert wrote a poem about his belief that his wife came back as the neighbor’s Dalmation.  Jan Richardson wrote in her memoir that the sudden appearance of sparrows signaled her dead husband was sending her a sign. Doriannne Laux ended a poem with a plea: “Give me a sign if you can see me./I’m the only one here on my knees.”  Reading these poets and writers made me feel less crazy for thinking my dead husband was sending me messages in code via the radio. 

How do we get through this time, with or without signs from our beloveds?  What we can’t see in the beginning is that there is indeed a path – most likely twisted and full of sharp turns and potholes, but one that takes us forward.  Sometimes my path was a sidewalk; I walked my dog for hours every day covering the same territory. I went through the motions of living my life – yoga classes and inviting friends over for potlucks, going back to teaching, but I wasn’t myself and it didn’t feel like my life.

I realized that time was pushing my husband into the past, further and further away, but I wasn’t ready to let him go. I kept writing, I kept reading. I wasn’t ready to let go of my grief; it kept me connected to him. Writing about him kept him in the room. I continued looking for poetry and memoir for solace, and also to justify feeling narcissistic in my grief, because the writers and poets I found were just as grief obsessed as I was, and grief after all is about the griever.

I found company in Hafiz who wrote “Don’t surrender your loneliness/So quickly ….”  And in Kevin Young who wrote, “what’s worse, the forgetting/or the thing/ you can’t forget.”  When I read, I felt part of a world that made meaning out of pain. 

After two years I began to realize that the tears, the pages of memories that I wrote, the miles I walked with my dog, the hours on a yoga mat, the time with students in my classroom, the potlucks in my kitchen, the volumes of poetry and memoir that I read – all of it was a path into the future. A path I had walked without knowing it was leading somewhere.

Finally, and this happened only gradually, I found myself remembering grief. Grief as something that I had felt in the past, no longer the wave that used to flatten me, no longer feeling grief in every bone and muscle of my body but thinking about how it had felt in the past. I still missed my husband deeply, but missing isn’t grief. Missing is a feeling that can go on forever while you begin a new life. Whatever shape that new life takes, there’s the possibility of joy again, even love. In the space hollowed out by grief there is room for your heart to expand, to open to the world, to grow and to give thanks for the love you once had. At the end of my path I was amazed by gratitude.

# # #

Barbara Abercrombie has published over fifteen books, including The Language of Loss. Two of her books were listed on Poets & Writers Magazine’s “Best Writing Books of the Year” list. Her personal essays have appeared in many national publications and anthologies. She has received the Outstanding Instructor and Distinguished Instructor Awards from UCLA Extension, where she teaches creative writing. She lives in Pasadena, CA with her rescue dogs Nelson and Nina. Find out more about her work at www.barbaraabercrombie.com. 

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15 Jul

Embracing the Unknown

An excerpt from The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility
by Heather Grzych

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 10 percent, or 6.1 million, women in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant each year.

 

In The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility: A Natural Approach to Getting Pregnant (New World Library, May 5, 2020), author and Ayurvedic practitioner Heather Grzych offers a gentle, holistic approach to understanding the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of fertility based on Ayurveda, an ancient form of medicine that originated in India that means “the science of life.”

 

We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.

 

# # #

 

The process of creation is not one that can be controlled — there are so many unknowns — and this can be a little unsettling for a lot of women. However, creation emerges out of vulnerability and even darkness. Creation is dominated by unseen forces that later give rise to something tangible and seen.

 

If you are considering having a child and you want the experience to be as joyous as possible, then first you must understand the process of how things are created and surrender to it. Creation comes from the need for change. It doesn’t come when things are in perfect order. Otherwise, you wouldn’t need anything different to happen in your life; there would be no space for something new.

 

There are variations on how conception occurs. Some women surrender to this process easily, and some after a glass of wine. Some women need to have doctors do it for them. Even when a woman goes to see a doctor for IVF or egg freezing or any other type of intervention used for conception, there is a form of surrender. It is just a different kind of surrender than getting pregnant the old-fashioned way.

 

Your job is to start to get comfortable in the darkness of space — when you don’t have the answers or conclusions. Furthermore, your job as the female is specifically to let creativity happen through you. Yup, it’s time to give up some of that control.

 

How do I sell this idea to you, though, if you are like a lot of other modern women and like to make vision boards and execute plans to get toward where you want to go? It can feel like a real struggle when we cannot make something happen via our own thinking and doing, can’t it? It may feel difficult to let things unfold naturally until we feel we’ve done all we can. However, because conception takes more than one entity, a state of receptivity is important, and this can become compromised if we are trying to control everything. I’m not saying this is easy — receptivity and surrender challenge our fears around trust and even our own self-confidence.

 

In having a baby, you are not the one “making” anything when it actually happens. You are a vessel. You cannot control the outcome. You can try to influence it, but you can’t control it. This is part of why a fertility journey — like any creative endeavor — is a spiritual journey for the modern woman who has a hard time relinquishing control. First, you do the best you can to take care of yourself in your environment, you connect deeply with your partner (literally and figuratively!), and then you roll the dice. You may experience mental anguish in the void, and this is where it’s handy to hold a sense of faith and wonder. Allowing yourself to be surprised by the universe can actually be a really magical thing, sometimes even more fun than planning everything to a T and getting exactly what you want when you want it. Remember the saying “A watched pot never boils”? Well, it applies when you are trying to get pregnant, too.

 

Women who feel the call to conceive often start to grasp for a baby. They want to reach out and grab it, and they will do whatever they can to get it. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it sabotages the whole thing — because if there is too much grasping for the outcome, then there is no room for receiving the gifts that take you to the outcome. The baby you were meant to have will not come by your forcing. It will come by magic.

 

Pathologies are created energetically and physically when there are imbalances of giving, receiving, and grasping. Conception becomes blocked, elusive, or rejected when such pathologies are present. The balance point between receiving and giving is where you find the fertile ground for conception to take place.

 

# # #

Heather Grzych is the author of The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility. A board-certified Ayurvedic practitioner, she bridges the worlds of conventional and alternative medicine to help women and men heal their physical and emotional lives. Heather is on the board of directors for the National Ayurvedic Medical Association and has consulted with doctors, governments, and insurance companies. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit her online at http://heathergrzych.com.

 

Excerpted from the book The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility. Copyright ©2020 by Heather Grzych. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

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03 Sep

The Four Friends

“The Four Friends” is an ancient fable that the Buddha repeated to teach the value of respect for one another. The lesson we can learn from this is that when there is harmony, there is also happiness.

 

Long, long ago, there was a pheasant would eat fruit, and then spit out the seeds. A small sapling grew from one of those seeds. That sapling then grew into a small tree that bore fruits, and the pheasant happily ate them.

 

Then, as the tree grew bigger, since the pheasant had difficulty flying, he could no longer reach the fruit.

 

A rabbit arrived, and said to the pheasant: “Neither of us can reach the fruit. Let me lift you so you can pluck the fruits, and we can share them.” The pheasant agreed, and the two enjoyed the fruits of the tree.

 

As the tree grew bigger, the fruit became out of their reach.

 

A monkey came by and agreed to help the rabbit and the pheasant. The monkey lifted the rabbit, and the rabbit lifted the pheasant, and the three all shared the fruits.

 

But then, the tree grew even bigger still.

 

Finally, an elephant arrived on the scene, and joined in to help the other three. The elephant lifted the monkey, the monkey lifted the rabbit, and the rabbit lifted the pheasant. Now, however high the tree grew, they could always reach the fruits!

 

These four friends became good examples to others in the forest. The bird taught other birds to be good. The elephant taught those with fangs to help others, and the rabbit taught the creatures with paws to do their part, and the monkey taught those with fur to do good for others. Eventually, the small group influenced even human beings by their example of cooperation, despite differences in size, strength or even species. By working together, the four friends learned the value of unity, integrity, friendship, generosity, and selflessness for the greater good.

 

The Four Friends, or Thumpa Punshi, is a familiar theme in paintings, curtains, thangkas and walls in Buddhist temples and homes. It is thought that wherever this picture is displayed harmony will increase. The picture acts as a reminder of how we should stay together and help each other. We all have various strengths and challenges, and yet we can complement one another to accomplish those things that we cannot achieve alone.

The Four Friends. I got this picture from allposters.com – I have a canvas print hanging in my home!

 

“Respect should be freely given to all simply because all have Buddha-nature, because all can become Buddhas.” – Stonepeace

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26 Aug

Telepractice Speech Therapy for Students Blazing a New Trail in Telemedicine

How a novel telemedicine tactic is bridging gaps in standard speech therapy, improving and accelerating results for families, schools and districts at-large

For those looking toward industries poised to lead the growth charge over the next five-to-ten years, one need look no further than telehealth and telemedicine. These global markets are expected to exceed $185 million from 2019 through 2026, according to the new Advanced Report on Telehealth and Telemedicine Market Analysis Forecast. Yet another new report, “Telemedicine Market 2019,” actually forecasts global industry growth to reach a staggering $78.82 billion during the period 2018-2022. These and a litany of other research endeavors veritably assure that telehealth will become a dominant force, reinventing health care at large in years to come.

For students from K-12 through college-level requiring speech therapy in particular, remote access to professional services and practitioners will clearly become more ubiquitous. In fact, “the demand for speech-language therapists is already outpacing the supply in some cities,” says Licensed Speech Pathologist Orna Kempler-Azulay, president of Abington Speech Pathology Services, Inc. She’s helping spearhead the speech teletherapy charge in America and beyond with her ground-breaking service platform, RemoteSpeech.com.

Underscoring telehealth’s viability for expanding access to quality and effective treatment for both children and adults worldwide, the American Speech and Hearing Association (ASHA) has gone on record to substantiate that, “Telepractice is considered an appropriate model of service delivery for audiologists and speech-language pathologists.” Additionally, a “Speech Telepractice” report not only touts improved access to care that telehealth facilitates, but also engagement and the residual effect benefits of remote care. It cites, “The web-based technology engenders highly personalized and engaging activities, such that clients’ interactions with these high interest tasks often continue well beyond the therapy sessions.”

For students, these advancements easing accessibility, bolstering treatment protocols and expediting results can’t usher in soon enough amid the extreme hardships many children with voice, speech or language issues suffer. Not the least of which is getting bullied or even shunned by friends and family members. In light of the nearly one in twelve U.S. children ages three to seventeen reportedly suffering from some kind of communication disorder, below Azulay outlines key ways remote speech teletherapy benefits students, including and beyond bridging the availability gap:

  1. Eradicates barriers to access. For many, career and other schedule demands, transportation challenges and other obstacles make it difficult––if not impossible––for families with students to participate in on-site speech therapy programs, whether at the school, in clinics or other treatment locales. For those living in rural and remote areas, these problems can be further exacerbated, rendering treatment options an impossibility. This also applies to people who must relocate internationally, including members of the military, business executives and government officials who desire to help family members or themselves. Web-based speech teletherapy offers these and other well-suited patients the opportunity to readily access the on-going care they need to improve their lives, also giving them control over date and time-of-day scheduling and other concerns. Indeed, k ids work one-on-one with teletherapists in-between their activities and busy schedules, whether the sessions are conducted after school, at night or on the weekends. Teletherapy also allows these individuals to start and continue therapy without any interruptions, which can optimize results.
  2. Removes stigma and fear.   For many children, visiting a speech therapist at school heightens their anxiety and makes them even more self-conscious about getting the help needed to improve their speech. These kids are often bullied by their peers, who belittle the speech issue as well as the therapy sessions that make the patient’s schedule “different” from other students. What Azulay is seeing in schools that have embraced teletherapy is how they proffer a quiet location—in an office or a study room in the library—for these students to easily log on to a teletherapy platform via computer or tablets and readily access the expert-level help needed. In effect, these students are more willing to get the help they need because treatment can be rendered with more privacy and at a date and time that better suits. “As far as their other classmates know, they’re just coming up to do some work on the computer,” said one therapist in a recent study. In some rural communities, parents and therapists confirm that teletherapy affords them greater privacy, allowing their loved ones to access the help they need without other family members or other members of the community knowing. Even when other students observe that speech teletherapy is underway via a computer or tablet, it can actually draw curious, positive attention from these peers.
  3. Fosters access to top therapists.  Federal and state law requires all therapists to be licensed in the state they practice in, regardless of how their services are rendered. What teletherapy has created is a vast new channel through which highly qualified practitioners can provide their expertise to patients throughout the entirety of their home states, not just the city in which they live. Relating to her own RemoteSpeech.com platform, Azulay points out that therapists are “lining up in droves” because they’re wanting to help the throngs of patients who are seeking access to high-quality therapists.  Families and patients are no longer relegated to those professionals who happen to be in their immediate area. With access to a deeper roster of talent, caregivers can specifically place students with culturally and linguistically diverse professionals, or make a selection based on specialty. All of these options create a more tailored approach that yields a better outcome. Additionally, through telemedicine, therapists also are able to see more patients per day, which means more people can get the help they need on a regular basis.

    Azulay also underscores that current state lawmakers have established strict criteria for any therapist to practice, and rightfully so. “We’re doing a lot of educating to ensure those inquiring about speech teletherapy services know that quality of care is not being compromised in any way whatsoever and, in fact, quite the opposite is true,” Azulay says. She further underscored that access to a larger pool of highly trained Speech-Language Pathologists and School Psychologists is being provided, with these professionals executing the exact same exercises they would undertake in an in-person session. Also, quality therapists can eliminate prohibitive travel expenses, and better circumvent tardiness, absences, weather events and other unexpected issues that previously required scrambling for a replacement.

  4.  Greater transparency and oversight.  Modern platforms allow every speech teletherapy session to be recorded, giving any parent or other concerned caregiver the ability to access the video and see exactly what is going on and remain involved in the child’s progress. In fact, according to Azulay, teletherapy offers an even greater opportunity to review and assess a given session or overall therapy course as compared to in-person sessions that are usually conducted one-on-one, behind closed doors. Caregivers can procure session notes, schedules, therapy plans and progress updates at any time they desire, and videos can also be referenced during parent meetings. This more readily allows for any course-corrections needed to ensure all of the child’s needs are being addressed—mission critical as treatment evolves and the child progresses.

For teletherapy to work, Azulay says you need to have willing partners, including parents, caregivers, school districts, hospitals and others who embrace the approach. Despite the preponderance of evidence supporting remote speech therapy, Azulay and others in the telepractice business face resistance. For example, among school districts, such push-back is often due to solvable issues like lack of updated technology (and/or an understanding of how to use basic technology); access to tablets, computers or internet access; or adequate space for treatment of these students.

Insurance companies not universally covering treatment costs is another barrier that Azulay hopes will be eradicated in the near future. “Some states have passed laws that make insurance companies reimburse their patients for teletherapy, but too many are still not there yet,” she laments.

Despite some hurdles yet to be overcome, the growth trajectory for speech teletherapy is undeniable and understandable. Overall, the approach is already helping thousands in the U.S. and around the world gain access to care that seemed impossible to receive in the past. The telepractice option is providing needed help far more conveniently to students within the security and comfort of their own home or other “safe space”—an A+ approach soon to graduate to the billion-dollar big leagues.

~~~

By Merilee Kern, MBA
As the Executive Editor and Producer of “The Luxe List,” Merilee Kern, MBA is an internationally-regarded brand analyst, strategist and futurist. As a prolific branding and marketplace trends pundit, Merilee spotlights noteworthy industry innovators, change makers, movers and shakers. This includes field experts and thought leaders, brands, products, services, destinations and events across all categories. Connect with her at www.TheLuxeList.com / Instagram www.Instagram.com/LuxeListReviews / Twitter www.Twitter.com/LuxeListEditor / Facebook www.Facebook.com/TheLuxeList / LinkedIN www.LinkedIn.com/in/MerileeKern

 

Sources

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15 Jun

The Eight Steps of Love on Every Breath

An excerpt from LOVE ON EVERY BREATH by Lama Palden Drolma

At this time, when our human family is facing many challenges, it is more important than ever that we find peace and sustenance in our hearts. In the new book Love on Every Breath: Tonglen Meditation for Transforming Pain into Joy, author Lama Palden Drolma introduces a profound, ancient meditation that has been practiced in isolated mountain retreats in the Himalayas for centuries, which is now available to the modern world.

In the standard Tonglen, the meditator simply breathes in the suffering of others and then breathes out love and compassion to them, but this approach does not always work well for Westerners, who often find it difficult to get past the ego’s roadblocks. That is why Lama Palden prefers to teach the more user-friendly “Love on Every Breath” variation to Westerners, which comes from the Shangpa lineage of two enlightened women.

We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.

# # #

Love on Every Breath is an ancient Tibetan Buddhist Vajrayana meditation from the Shangpa lineage that combines breath, awareness, imagination, and an energetic transformation process. The meditation brings all these components together in a powerful way in order to open our hearts, to reveal and cultivate our kindness, love, compassion, and wisdom. In Tibetan, this is called the Extraordinary Tonglen, since it uses special techniques of Vajrayana to transform suffering. The Tibetan word tonglen is composed of two words — tong means “giving or sending,” and len means “receiving or taking.” First, we open ourselves to receive and feel the suffering of ourselves and others, breathing it into our heart center. This is the “taking.” The suffering is then instantaneously and effortlessly liberated in the heart and transformed by a special method into unconditional love. At this point, on the out-breath, love and healing energy are sent back out to whomever you are doing the meditation for at the moment, whether yourself or another. This is the “sending.”

The primary purpose of the Love on Every Breath meditation is to cultivate our love and compassion, to transform and liberate our heart. When we come from a place of love, everything shifts for us. This book gives you the tools to transform and empower yourself and come to a place of creative engaged freedom.

The Love on Every Breath meditation is not an exotic Himalayan practice, but it is something that emerges out of us spontaneously and naturally. It is inherent in us to want to remove suffering — others’ or our own. The problem for many children (and adults) is that we absorb the suffering of others, and then it stagnates inside of us. Love on Every Breath gives a way for the suffering to be liberated in the body and the psyche and emerge as compassion. There is a felt sense as this happens.

 

The Eight Steps of Love on Every Breath

The Love on Every Breath meditation has eight steps. The complete meditation is done as a sitting practice and takes about forty-five minutes to an hour from start to finish, but the practice is highly adaptable and can be easily abbreviated.

 

Here is a brief description of each step. In step 1, Resting in Open Awareness, we let go of everything. We let go of the past and the future; we let go of any and all ideas about ourselves or others; we completely let go into our bodies and into relaxing. We become aware of our mind so that we don’t allow it to wander into thinking. Rather, we stay present with what is. Usually, the easiest way to do this is to join our attention and breath. This anchors us in our body, and in our felt sensations, instead of in our thoughts. This is a doorway into calm abiding. We simply rest in awareness and openness; openness is synonymous with emptiness.

 

In step 2, Seeking Refuge in Awakened Sanctuary, we go for refuge, for sanctuary, to the awakened ones. This helps create a context and the space for our meditation. We also ask the buddhas and other awakened beings to support us during our meditation.

 

In step 3, Cultivating Awakened Mind, we engender the altruistic intention to fully awaken to be able to help liberate all beings from suffering.

 

In the fourth step, Stepping into Love, we invite an awakened being, traditionally Chenrezig, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, to be present above the crown of our head.

 

Following our heartfelt prayers, Chenrezig dissolves into ourselves, and we meditate that we become inseparable from Chenrezig. The awakened mind is then established in the heart center as a crystal vajra of light, which is a symbol of the indestructible, pure luminous empty reality of who we truly are, our buddha nature. The vajra is what transforms the suffering — not our individual personality or ego. This saves our ego from saying, “I don’t want to take in more suffering! I have enough of my own!”

 

The Vajra that Appears in our Heart Center

 

In the fifth step, Taking and Sending for Yourself, we imagine our ordinary self in front of us and contemplate our pain and wounds, meeting ourselves with loving awareness. We breathe in our suffering as a dark smoke-like substance, breathing it right into our heart center. As soon as it touches the vajra of light, we visualize a lightning bolt arising from the vajra, transforming all suffering into white light, symbolic of unconditional awakened love and healing energy. When we are breathing out, this white light goes into the heart center of our ordinary self, where it heals, illuminates, and awakens.

 

In the sixth step, Taking and Sending for Others, we meditate on a loved one, and gradually we include others. As in the previous step, we contemplate their suffering, big and small, see it as dark smoke, and breathe it into the vajra in our heart. When the suffering touches the vajra, it is instantly transformed. Then, on the out-breath, we imagine the white light going into the person or people, filling them with light and healing, and eventually bringing about their awakening.

 

Chenrezig, together with the vajra of awakening, greatly enlarges our capacity to welcome the suffering and transform it. Slowly we expand our meditation out to various people and groups of people, until finally all beings are included. We rest in the love and joy of all of us awakened together.

 

Step 7, Dissolving, involves dissolving our visualization, completely letting go, and resting in open awareness. Then in step 8, Dedicating, we dedicate any and all benefit of our meditation to the awakening of all beings.

 

# # #

 

Lama Palden Drolma is the author of Love on Every Breath. A licensed psychotherapist, spiritual teacher, and coach, she has studied Buddhism in the Himalayas with some of the most preeminent Tibetan masters of the twentieth century. Following a traditional three-year retreat under his guidance, Kalu Rinpoche authorized her to become one of the first Western lamas. She subsequently founded the Sukhasiddhi Foundation, a Tibetan Buddhist teaching center in Fairfax, California. Visit her online at http://www.lamapalden.org.

 

Excerpted from the book Love on Every Breath. Copyright © 2019 by Lama Palden Drolma. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

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04 Jun

Summer Travels by Train!

Travel by train is a great way to see the country with your family this summer. Super easy and comfortable – and also affordable!

Check out this news from AMTRAK!

Buy One Sleeping Accommodation Bring a Companion Free

Limited-time summer sale offers the perfect opportunity to Get Carried Away on Amtrak

 

WASHINGTON – The experience of traveling on Amtrak with someone special has never been better. Now when one person purchases a roomette or bedroom, a friend or loved can join them for free. Ideal for two, Amtrak sleeping accommodations offer meals that are included in the price of a ticket on most routes, comfortable seating by day, and at night, chairs that convert into a comfortable bed. Available exclusively on Amtrak.com between June 4-10, 2019, the sale is valid for travel from August 1, 2019 through March 31, 2020.

 

“We believe that the journey is part of the adventure. Recognizing the need to get more out of every moment, we wanted to offer our customers a truly unique way to experience the country this summer,” said Amtrak President and CEO Richard Anderson. “With our sleeper sale, customers can share the experience while taking in some of the best views and sightseeing opportunities the United States has to offer.”

 

Special prices available during the sale offer fares as low as:

Pairing Cities Roomette Bedroom
New York, NY – Charleston, SC $323 $613
Washington, DC – Orlando, FL $314 $602
Chicago, IL – New Orleans, LA $269 $319
Seattle, WA – Oakland, CA $305 $534
Los Angeles, CA – Albuquerque, NM $271 $450
Emeryville, CA – Salt Lake City, UT $236 $395
Portland, OR – Los Angeles, CA $357 $646
Atlanta, GA – New Orleans, LA $220 $285
Chicago, IL – Memphis, TN $197 $259
Washington, DC – Chicago, IL $275 $416
San Antonio, TX – New Orleans, LA $195 $357
New York, NY – Chicago, IL $344 $571

While traveling, customers can move around the train, visit the lounge car for beverages or snacks and relax in the comfort of a private room. Customers book travel across the national network with sleeping accommodations on trains including the California Zephyr, Capitol Limited, Cardinal, City of New Orleans, Coast Starlight, Crescent, Empire Builder, Lake Shore Limited, Silver Star, Silver Meteor, Southwest Chief, Sunset Limited and Texas Eagle.

 

Roomettes and bedrooms are complete with bed linens, pillows, temperature controls, lights, bed-side storage nooks, electrical outlets, huge double-decker windows, and a fold-down table. A dedicated train attendant will book meal reservations, make and take down the beds, assist with luggage, notify customers when their stop is close and share great stories of life on the rails.

All prices will be automatically discounted from the standard fare price. Customers must use discount code V540 or the link provided on the promo code; prices are as shown and can’t be combined with other discount codes.

 

There are no blackout dates. This offer is valid for one free companion rail fare traveling in the same roomette, bedroom or family room with the purchase of one regular full adult fare. The free companion and full fare passengers must travel together in the same room and reserve in the same reservation. This offer is valid for sale between June 4 and June 10, 2019 and is valid for travel between August 1, 2019 and March 31, 2020. The sale is not valid on the Auto Train. The companion traveling with the customer must stay in the same bedroom or roomette. Other terms and conditions apply.

 

About Amtrak®

Amtrak offers a more comfortable and convenient travel experience with free Wi-Fi on most trains, plenty of leg room and no middle seat. With our state and commuter partners, we move people, the economy and the nation forward, carrying more than 30 million Amtrak customers for each of the past seven years. Amtrak operates more than 300 trains daily, connecting more than 500 destinations in 46 states, the District of Columbia and three Canadian Provinces, and reaches 400 additional destinations via connecting bus routes. Book travel, check train status, access your eTicket and more through an Amtrak app. Learn more at Amtrak.com.

 

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21 Jan

Better Sleep Can Warm Up A Relationship

For couples having trouble under the sheets, improving their relationship could be as simple as getting a good night’s sleep.

Catching extra winks together in bed can significantly help improve a relationship. A good night’s sleep is restorative to the mind and body, gives us energy and improves our mood—all attributes that can make us better partners in romantic relationships. On the other hand, a poor night’s sleep —often the result of a couple’s mismatched sleep styles— can be a major problem for a relationship.

Many couples can live happily together, but they can’t sleep well side-by-side, which can negatively impact their relationship. Sleeping together is an important way for couples to feel connected with each other. And not getting enough sleep can leave us feeling sluggish, cranky and hard to get along with.

If your partner’s sleep style is keeping you up at night here are some tips to bring harmony back to the bedroom and into your relationship:

1.
Problem: Your partner kicks in his or her sleep, waking you up.
Solution: Make sure your bed gives each sleeper enough sleep surface to move around comfortably. For couples sharing a bed, the mattress should be at least queen-sized.

2.
Problem: Your partner likes it hot, you like it cool.
Solution: Ideally, your bedroom should be a cool 60-65 degrees Fahrenheit. But a few simple adjustments can make it possible for a person who craves heat and a person who craves cool to sleep side by side comfortably.
• Double-fold the blankets so there is more coverage on one side.
• Invest in a dual-control electric blanket or a twin-sized electric blanket on one side.

3.
Problem: Your partner snores, keeping you up at night.
Solution: Snoring can be a serious health concern, so make sure to consult your physician. If your partner’s snoring is not a serious health condition, try alternative treatments like investing in anti-snore pillows, sprays or nasal strips that are designed to help people breathe more easily.

4.
Problem: Your partner tosses and turns.
Solution: It may be your mattress. Mattresses should be evaluated for optimum comfort and support every five to seven years.

5.
Problem: Your partner loves to cuddle, but you like your space while you sleep.
Solution: Compromise. Before falling asleep, spend some time snuggling together and then agree to sleep apart.

6.
Problem: Your sleep schedules don’t match.
Solution: Try finding a bedtime that works for both of you. Be considerate if you are a night owl or an early riser compared to your sleep partner. Keep overhead lights off and use minimal lighting while you are awake and your partner is asleep.

A bad night’s sleep affects your mood, work and relationships with others. Sleep, like proper diet and exercise, is essential to overall well-being.

More sleep tips at BetterSleep.org

Sleep Tips video

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14 Jan

More Birthdays: A Reason to Celebrate!

Recent survey results released by the American Cancer Society reinforce, once again, the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, and the findings are definitely cause for celebration. The online survey, which showed a strong link between health and attitudes about birthdays, revealed that people who say they are in excellent health are more likely to consider birthdays special and exciting events.

In addition, the survey found that people who say they are in excellent health are nearly twice as likely to love celebrating birthdays, generally consider them fun and feel more special on their birthday than people who say they are in poor health.

Clearly, these results are another reminder about the benefits of leading a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Not only will you look and feel great, but you’ll also be a brilliant birthday party guest!

The results are part of the Society’s Official Sponsor of Birthdays campaign, which asks people to imagine a world with more birthdays. More birthdays mean more time with our friends and family, and more opportunities to celebrate the important milestones in their lives.

A big part of the American Cancer Society’s effort to create more birthdays is helping people stay well by making healthy choices in their daily lives. Whether you’re planning a party for a child, an adult, or yourself, there are fun and creative ways to make your celebration one that will help create more birthdays for years to come.

Get Active.
To get your guests moving, pick an action-oriented theme for your birthday celebration — pool parties, soccer games, dance parties, or scavenger hunts are great fun for kids and grown-ups alike. There’s nothing like a little healthy competition!

Be Prepared.
If you’re hosting an outdoor party, have sunscreen (at least SPF 15) and extra hats on hand for guests who might have forgotten them. If you’re hosting your celebration indoors, find a smoke-free restaurant or venue or have it at your house and remind guests that cigarettes aren’t welcome.

Stay Food-Smart.
We know birthdays are about celebrating, but you can have your cake and stay healthy, too. There are plenty of healthy and delicious foods you can choose to share with your guests. Consider serving low-fat snacks like popcorn, pretzels, and baked chips and salsa and healthy meal options like grilled chicken or shrimp skewers. You can bake healthier, too, by making your birthday cake from scratch so you can control the ingredients and make smart substitutions like swapping butter for applesauce.

Give the gift of more birthdays.
Joining the movement to create a world with more birthdays isn’t limited to your own special celebration. By giving birthday gifts to friends and loved ones throughout the year with health and wellness in mind, you can help the people you care about look forward to more candles to light. Here are some creative gift ideas to help people stay well:

For cooks or want-to-be cooks:
Package flavored oils and vinegars in a large bowl made for salads.
Create a basket filled with healthy cooking utensils such as an apple corer, zester, lemon/lime juicer, garlic crusher, ginger, and nutmeg graters.
For the portion size conscious cook (and eater), consider giving a food scale, measuring cups, and/or attractive measuring spoons.

For foodies:
Create a basket with cheese, crackers, and fresh fruit, with perhaps a decorative cheese spreader.
Package dried fruits and nuts in a unique serving dish with pretty cocktail napkins.
Collect your favorite healthy recipes and give them in a recipe journal so they can also record their own.
Give a cooking class gift certificate.
Give a subscription to a favorite healthy cooking magazine.
Give a gift certificate to your favorite local healthy restaurant.

For those wanting to be more active:
Give a gift certificate to a local athletic shoe and apparel store.
Include a step counter/pedometer with an mp3 player.
Package a jump rope, exercise band, set of hand weights, and/or workout ball for an all around healthy workout.
Make coupons for babysitting so your friend can work out while you watch the kids.
Make workout buddy coupons and commit to get up three days a week to walk before work with your friend, if that’s what she wants to do.
Give a gift certificate for a tennis lesson, packaged with a water bottle and flashy colored tennis balls.
Give a gift certificate for a golf lesson, with a book on the best public courses to play (and encourage your golfing buddy to join the USGA Walking Member Program).
Give a gift subscription to a favorite health magazine such as Fitness, Runners World, Walking, Golf Digest, Bicycling, etc.
Give an exercise mat and workout tapes or CDs for home use.
Volleyball net and ball.
Badminton racquets and shuttlecocks.
A yearly pass to a local or national park.
Croquet set.
Baby jogger.

Thanks in part to the efforts of the American Cancer Society, eleven million cancer survivors will mark their birthdays this year. What’s not to celebrate about that?

To join me and the Society in the movement for more birthdays, visit www.morebirthdays.com.

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07 Jan

Time Well Spent: Volunteering in the Foster Care System

Time is a commodity. It’s been compared with money. We only have so much of it in this lifetime, so time is precious. And how we spend our time says a lot about what is important to us. Recently I’ve had a big change in where I’ve been finding my time spent – and it has surprised me, in many wonderful ways.

 

I’ve done the career thing, a couple of times over in a couple of different incarnations. And I’ve done the mom thing — wholeheartedly: from carpools and karate, to homework and heartache and everything in between. And all along the way I’ve been involved with some kind of service. But it was always secondary to the job, or the kids, because there is only so much time to go around, especially for a working mom.

 

When my boys left for college I found myself with time on my hands. This is something that hasn’t happened since I gave birth. Yes, I’ve still got work, but a person can only sit in front of a computer for so many hours a day without going crazy! I decided to volunteer at a group foster home.

 

The process for this is quite extensive. I had to go through security clearance, including fingerprinting and a TB test. And I also had to go through training. It took a couple of months for all the paperwork to go through, but now I’m officially a volunteer. And I love it!

 

In the past, when I’ve volunteered it was all about making gift baskets for silent auctions, going to lunch meetings, and selling raffle tickets to raise money for the organization. I wanted to contribute in a different way, to actually work with the kids. In one of my work incarnations I was a modeling school teacher, so I have experience working with teen girls. This population is the most “at-risk” in the foster care world and I felt it was a place where I could make some sort of a difference. At this particular foster home, there are 14 teen girls who live on campus.

 

A group foster home is often the last stop for kids. At this point they have nowhere else to go. Most of them are there through no fault of their own. If they have parents, their parents are abusive, addicted to drugs, or in jail. Or they are simply unable to cope with the difficulties that their child is going through. Most of the kids are SED, or severely emotionally disturbed. This foster home has family outreach, and things like parenting classes, with the goal of bringing the family back together again. But the reality is that just about 3% of the kids who arrive at group homes eventually return to a healthy family situation.

 

I waltzed in to the girls cottage thinking this was going to be fun, that the girls would be happy to see me, and that we’d have tea parties and book clubs. I quickly learned to not have any expectations, or any particular plans, and to just be present for whatever needs they had at the moment. One of the staff members told me that these kids are like porcupines. They are withdrawn, and suspicious, and have their spikes up to protect themselves. You need to approach cautiously, and gently. And when a porcupine throws out a spike, you can’t be surprised, or angry, because it’s just the nature of the animal. With everything these kids have been through in their young lives, it is completely understandable for them to be on guard.

 

Where we started to bond was in the kitchen. These girls need their spirits to be fed, and sometimes the best way to do that is by starting with their stomachs. Group homes aren’t known for their gourmet cuisine, and the weekend dinners are the most dreaded of all the meals. By cooking together, good wholesome meals with lots of fresh vegetables, we were able to fill up the cottage with yummy smells that made the place feel much more like a home than an institution. While cooking we can talk amongst the activity, so there are no awkward pauses. And we have a mutual goal that we accomplish together, something tangible to both serve and enjoy in a delicious meal.

 

I’ve been going up there every Sunday to make dinner with the girls. And I find that during the week, I miss them, so I’m up there at least a couple of times in the afternoons just to hang out, help them with their projects, and generally be available. I’ve given them books, and DVDs, and I bring fresh fruit for after school snacks. But what they really appreciate, more than anything, is my time. It’s just the being there that really makes a difference. And as time goes on, I’m discovering that more and more, this is where I am choosing to spend my time. Vedic philosophy says that the three most important things we can give our children are attention, affection, and time. The children in the foster care system are starved for all three. And this is something that any of us can provide without spending a dime.

 

As I learn more about how everything works with foster care, I’m finding more ways that those of us who want to help can really make a difference.

 

Right now there are more than 780,000 children in the United States who are in the foster care system because they are unable to live safely at home. Most of these children are there through no fault of their own, but because their parents can’t, or won’t, take care of them. The children often have difficulty trusting people, and making lasting relationships because so many strangers come in and out of their lives: police officers, lawyers, judges, therapists, social workers, and foster parents. If they are placed in a group home, there is also several different staff throughout the week to watch over the kids. They can be moved from home to home, and school to school, with little or no notice. It can be daunting, and even scary for a child.

 

Thankfully, there is a volunteer organization called CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children. CASA volunteers are appointed by judges to look out for specific children in the overburdened legal and social service system. These volunteers make sure that the children’s needs are being met, that they aren’t getting lost in the system, or languishing in a group or foster home that is not appropriate for them. The CASA stays with the child until the case is closed, and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. Because foster kids move around so much, many times the CASA volunteer is the one constant adult presence, the one adult they can count on to care for them, and advocate for them. The CASA volunteer really gives the child a voice, by speaking on the child’s behalf in the courtroom and in team meetings so that the needs of the child are addressed and met.

 

If you have some time to spend, and you want to make a lifelong difference for a child who really needs your help, consider volunteering in a foster home. Or even better, consider becoming a CASA. Last year, more than 68,000 CASA volunteers served more than 240,000 abused and neglected children through 1,018 program offices. CASA volunteers have helped more than two million children since the program was established in 1977. Currently there are not enough CASA volunteers to go around. Statistics show that children with a CASA volunteer are far more likely to find the services and resources they need and go on to lead successful and productive lives. Now can’t we all consider that to be time well spent?

For more information, visit the CASA website: nationalcasa.org

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