New Day, New Decade

2011 is well under way.  Not only is this a new year, it’s a new decade!  We had our grand finale, wrapping up 2010 with the solstice and coinciding full moon and lunar eclipse, bringing change and a shift in energy.  And now, January 4 welcomes a new moon, signaling new beginnings.

Many of us choose to set New Year’s resolutions, goals that we work towards to better ourselves in one way or another.  This is a good exercise, as it helps us to consider what we want for ourselves, and how we can take action to make things happen.

Of course, we can set goals at any time.  Many people choose their birthdays to do this because it’s a time of reflection.  You might also choose any new moon, or the beginning of any season.  These are all natural times to invoke change.

We know the importance of setting goals, and we know how good it feels when we reach those goals.  But at the same time, we need to remember that each step is an important part of the process.  We need to recognize this, and understand that we are moving forward.  This will keep us invested in the long run.  Breaking down “big” goals into more easily achievable steps is a good way to mark our progress.  We are learning and growing every day.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by looking at our goals and our desires.  There’s a reason why we want what we want.  And we wouldn’t want it if it weren’t attainable.  We learn and grow on the way to our goals.

Desire is our greatest motivator because it spurs us into action! Through action comes experience, achievement, accomplishment, and many great things.  We are busy fulfilling our desires everyday, and sometimes so easily that we aren’t even aware of what we are doing.  So, when setting your resolution, or goal, look at your desires first.  These are the steps you can take to get things going:

1. Recognize that you have this desire.  Label it.  Define it.  Know it.

2. Evaluate the desire – do you REALLY want it?  What is it exactly that you really want?  Explain it to yourself.  Make sure that it makes sense to you, and that you understand why you want this, and what it means to you to achieve this goal.

3. Create an intention to fulfill the desire, to reach your goal.  Make that commitment.  Set this as a priority in your life.

4. Release the desire to the universe – state your intention clearly.  It’s a good idea to write it down, and then burn the piece of paper, or file it away somewhere with the date on it.

5. Give up any attachment to what happens.  Just let it go, knowing anything can happen, the outcome is usually better than we ever could have anticipated. In spirit, there is no time or space. Be flexible, be open, and observe how things unfold. 

6. Let the universe handle the details – don’t try to control or manipulate how things occur. Rather than making demands, leave room to allow nature to take its course in whatever way, shape, or form that might be.  There’s always some reason behind everything that happens, so have a little faith that work is being done even if you don’t see it.  Know that creation and growth takes place every moment.

7. Feel grateful, and express gratitude!  Your emotions electrify the process.

8. Be aware of things that happen that may help you to achieve your goal.  There are no accidents, and no coincidences in life.  When opportunities arise, be ready to embrace them.

9. Celebrate every success and let it build your confidence and warm your heart.  Continue to express gratitude all along the way.

Happy new day, happy new year, happy new decade!

A Time for Reflection

The news spread quickly, almost immediately given our near constant connectivity to all things media.  Osama Bin Laden, easily the most hated man in the world, was dead.  After a brief pause for confirmation, and reassurance, the celebration began.  Hoots and hollers, chants of “U-S-A” and toasts of cheers filled the usually mundane Sunday night.  Radio hosts almost giddy proclaimed that we will always remember where we were when we heard the announcement. 

In what seemed like no time at all, there were graphic photographs posted on websites, videos shared on social media pages, news updates back-to-back.  The internet was bursting with a kind of excitement that fans exude when their team wins a championship.  But these images, bloody, gory, like something out of a slasher film, and which are still being dispersed, are nothing to cheer about.

I understand what Bin Laden’s death signifies: an end to terrorism, and closure to one of the most horrific and tragic events our country has ever experienced.  I understand what Bin Laden represents: a threat to be feared, an evil force beyond our reach.  It’s been ten years of mourning, ten years of questioning, ten years of suffering.  So I do understand why there would be a sigh of relief, and prayers of gratitude that this threat has finally, after all this time, been set aside.  But it is difficult, and disturbing for me to think of celebrating the death of any human being.  Martin Luther King said: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Has justice been served?  That certainly can be said to be true.  But when something like this happens, it is not a time to gloat, or to stir up feelings of revenge and animosity.  It is a time for sobriety.  It is a time when clear heads prevail, when we can reflect and learn and turn out attention to the peace that we so deeply crave.  Martin Luther King recognized this, and articulated it well.  Gandhi understood this.  Mother Teresa did as well.  We have both the option and the ability to handle ourselves in a spiritually mature manner.  These people have set the example for us, and laid the groundwork for a new paradigm.  It’s not just how we act that has an impact on the world.  It’s also how we react, and how we respond to the situations that arise all around us that can make all the difference in how we learn and grow.  We always have choices.  And we need to realize the effect that these choices have on our own lives, and the lives of all those around us.  The truth is that, as we have seen with the way the internet works and how quickly news travels, we are all connected.  Our actions can either hurt or help.  

Whatever our practice happens to be, however we acknowledge the change that has taken place, let us take some time to focus on peace, to take some of the love that is in our hearts and share it out in the world.  Love is the most powerful force there is, and we can never have too much of it.

It’s amazing how fast the world is moving.  It seems like just yesterday I was one of the first to have a “car phone” and felt so very cool.  Now that technology seems antiquated!  What would I do without my iPhone, without being able to play Words with Friends with my stepdaughter in Australia?  Because of all the new technology the world is not only faster, it’s smaller – we can experience our connectivity in any given moment. 

There is no separation now between television and the internet and commerce – everything is merging into one stream of information and entertainment available to us 24/7.  There are many examples of this, and more every day.  So it was no surprise to me when I got involved in it, too.  I’ve got a website/TV show/retail shop all in one!

CoffeyBuzz is an entertaining and informative weekly lifestyle video-zine that presents a fresh look at what’s new in lifestyle, fashion, health and popular culture. What makes us different is that the viewer, using the groundbreaking Hyperspots™ technology, can push a shopping cart through the video and interact with goods and services AS THEY APPEAR ON SCREEN. With Hyperspots™, viewers simply click on an item in the show and they are immediately provided with a direct link to either make a purchase, or learn more about the subject matter.  I host the show, and Emmy Award winning actor Charles Shaughnessy (Days of Our Lives, The Nanny) and his brother, Emmy Award winning producer David Shaughnessy (The Young and the Restless) produce the show along with me.

The first show we did was a tribute to mothers for Mother’s Day.  We visited an ayurvedic spa and experienced a “Shirodara” – that amazing massage where warm sesame oil is poured over the forehead.  And we learned a little bit about Ayurveda, India’s 5,000 year old Science of Life, from an ayurvedic practitioner.  Then I showed viewers how they can make their own bath salts right at home for a fraction of the cost of buying them in the store.  I’ve got the recipe up on the website to print out.

For our next show we found a luxurious pet hotel and day spa, where every client is treated like a VIP: a very important pet!  This place takes pampering to a whole new level.  Dogs can get pawdicures, massages, and when they stay overnight there are walks, TVs tuned to Animal Planet, and in-room dining.  This is something you have to see to believe!  Along the way you can click to get information about that cute “Furcedes” dog bed or the “Pawda” purse dog toy, or how to care for your Chihuahua.  And in every show, we also have links to related philanthropic organizations.

In upcoming episodes I’ll be cooking, making over a bachelor pad, exploring the health benefits of salt, and checking out a car museum.  There are so many exciting ways we can use this new technology to integrate great information into anything we do!  Times have changed, and viewing habits have changed, too.  I hope you’ll come by and see what we have going on over at CoffeyBuzz.com.  I really think this is where entertainment is headed in the future.

 http://www.coffeybuzz.com

According to Ayurveda, India’s 5,000 year old Science of Life, there are three pillars of good health: Sleep, Food, and Relationships.  All of these things are intricately related.  The foods we eat have an effect on how well we sleep.

When we’re having a hard time getting to sleep, it may be that our bodies are not producing enough serotonin or melatonin.  By eating foods that stimulate the production of serotonin and melatonin, our mind and body can better relax to get the sleep that we need.   Here are some suggestions for foods you can eat to help you settle into slumber: 

-Dairy products contain tryptophan, an amino acid which helps the body produce both serotonin and melatonin.  About an hour before bedtime, that warm glass of milk that mom recommended might just do the trick!  Lowfat yogurt or a small scoop of cottage cheese are also good choices.

-Both tuna and turkey contain tryptophan and can be helpful for sleep.

-When tryptophan is paired with complex carbohydrates you can get even better results.  This is because the complex carbohydrates help the brain to release insulin, which clears the way for the tryptophan to be absorbed.  So maybe have a grilled cheese sandwich on multi-grain bread, or some turkey and crackers.  Pasta with tomato sauce and cheese is also good a couple of hours before bedtime.

-Cherries and mangoes contain melatonin, and now researchers are saying that some red grapes may contain melatonin, too.  Melatonin is an antioxidant that helps the body to regulate circadian rhythms and sleep.  This is especially good to know when we’re traveling and have to deal with jet lag.

-The University of Wisconsin recently did a study that found potassium might be one of the important elements responsible for sleep.  They studied fruit flies and fruit fly sleep to get this information.  So foods like bananas, which contain both tryptophan and potassium might be especially good for sleep.  Again, paired with a complex carbohydrate it may be even more effective.  Try some sliced bananas on whole wheat toast.

-A nice cup of chamomile tea will help you to relax and de-stress.  Chamomile is a flower, so it’s not really tea.  Real tea contains caffeine, so you want to avoid that.  Just a small amount of herbal tea will do the trick.  Don’t drink too much before bed, or you’ll be up during the night to go to the bathroom and that can interfere with your natural sleep cycle.

-Eat a light snack or very small meal about 1-4 hours before bedtime.   A meal with carbohydrates will help you to fall asleep more quickly, but can also cause weight gain if done on a regular basis.  You also don’t want to eat too close to bedtime because then your body will be busy digesting instead of settling itself into sleep.

-Avoid spicy and fatty foods before bedtime.  Spices are stimulating, and can keep you awake.  They may also cause heartburn and interfere with sleep.

May is Better Sleep Month!  Lots more sleep tips at http://www.bettersleep.org

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are visiting Southern California this week, and of course the media is covering every moment.  Upon their arrival in Los Angeles from Canada, I noticed something that I don’t think everyone did, but it could be very telling about the royal relationship. 

After William and Kate disembarked the plane, they went through a receiving line to be welcomed by Governor Jerry Brown and his wife, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, and other dignitaries.  Will went through the line first, followed by his bride.  They were greeted, curtseyed to and shook hands with each person graciously.  When Will was finished, he made a bee-line for the Range Rover, and got in the back seat without a glance back.  Kate completed her duties a minute or so later, and went to the back seat on the other side of the car.

What is unusual about this?  Since the British are such sticklers for etiquette, they should be practicing it in their marriages as well as amongst commoners.  The gentlemanly thing for William to do would have been to wait for his wife to shake the last hand, and then walk over to the car with her.  Ideally, he would walk her to her side of the car and help her in before entering the car himself.

This may be a small thing, but it shows respect and consideration.  I get that they’re both on a schedule and being shepherded around by security.  But in a marriage, there is a kind of radar that keeps you aware of where that other person is at all times.  I get that William is the Prince and probable heir to the throne.  But whatever happened to common courtesy, and “ladies first?”  If I were in Kate’s position I’d be saying to my hubby: “Hello?  Wait for me!”  Of course it’s not good form for couples, and especially royals, to correct each other in public.

While I’m on the subject, yes, it was a lovely gesture that William gave Kate his mother’s ring.  However, I do believe that Kate deserves her own ring as well.  Why have Diana’s ring be her engagement ring?  After all, even though Diana’s ring is beautiful and historic, it did originate from a marriage that is widely known as unhappy and that ended in divorce.  That’s a lot of baggage to be carrying around on your finger.  Already Kate is being compared to Diana, and this will inevitably follow her throughout her lifetime.  Kate is her own person, and this is a new relationship, so I say give her a new ring.

Kate has a lot to put up with.  Every bride has to deal with in-laws, but Kate has to do it under the scrutiny of the world.  She had her wedding in the same church where her husband’s mother had her funeral.  She’s a good sport to go along with her new family in all these decisions, and I know this will go far in keeping Will and Kate together. 

The royal couple is sure to get lots of attention wherever they go, and whatever they do.  But they need to remember that it is the attention that they give to one another that will be what makes this marriage succeed.  It is both the attention that they give to each other in private, at home, when it is just the two of them.  And it is also the attention that they give to each other in public.  I remember hearing from body language experts about the sweet glances they gave each other during the wedding ceremony, and how that was a good sign of a true loving relationship.  The world is watching!  The pressures of the position will be there, and there will be obligations and schedules and demands.  But the smallest reassuring glance, the hand on the back as a guide, and the simple act of waiting for the other person to finish before going ahead with the next task, that will make all the difference. 

This royal marriage is only a few months in, and as time goes on, these simple courtesies will mean more and more.  I would advise William to get in the habit of being a gentlemanly husband now.  A husband with good manners is a true Prince.

Why Killing Buddha? (Excerpt from OmTimes article)

Laughter is the best medicine in hard times and Killing Buddha is first and foremost a comedy. And the title is politically correct! (It’s inspired from a quote from one of Buddhism’s most famous philosopher monks, Linji, the 9th century founder of Chán Buddhism.)

But the film also has a serious message and we have already attached three world superheroes of the New Age: Deepak Chopra, Barbara Marx Hubbard and Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.

While distributing “What The Bleep Do We Know?! ” I was honored to be able to travel the world to speak about my experience making “Bleep”. The most common question was “how did a girl like me, one who had never uttered the words Quantum Physics- end up making such a film?”

Sometimes it takes the most unlikely of people in the most unusual circumstances to create something that touches the world like “Bleep” did. The story I told had a resonance with so many, which I decided to, write a film about it: “Killing Buddha”
Crowd funding is a great way to get involved in the making of a film. Anyone who participates in this campaign will not only get them some cool perk (a t-shirt, a dvd or even a part in the film!)

By participating in this project at any level you’re invited to join a special group – come along as we make the film via a special website just for you! Watch videos from the set, see behind the scenes footage, chat online with the cast and the film makers and so much more! Once you join in the funding you’re a part of the team! Brief Synopsis:
Killing Buddha is loosely based on the life and experiences of Betsy Chasse and what happens when the least spiritual person on the planet gets hired to make a movie about spirituality.

Business flagging, dumped by her boyfriend, car repossessed and the bank eyeing her heavily mortgaged home, disenchanted ex-Hollywood film producer Sara Wells desperately wants change. Convinced by her agent to go to a yoga class, there she receives some simple advice: make a list of what you want and let the universe provide. Confident in her list-making abilities, uncertain about the universe and nostalgic for her Hollywood days, Sara tops her Wish List with a request for a movie to produce—a meaningful film that will change her life. Within hours, Sara is offered the script for Killing Buddha, a privately funded documentary about the modern Western spirituality movement. Sara’s deepest insight into spirituality is that God is dog spelled backwards. But she is intrigued by the coincidence with her list and drawn by the possibility of learning the ultimate recipe for instant happiness and success. Sara takes the project against the advice of her agent, setting out on a hilarious road trip with a bickering mismatched film crew of believers, cynics and seekers: Jason Stroud, born-again cameraman, Brin Halloway, bitterly disillusioned New Age consultant, Catholic editor and sound man Fabio Martinez, and wet-behind-the-ears African American PA, debutant and socialite, Michelle Kandell. Think “Bridget Jones seeks enlightenment while shooting a documentary about God”� a brilliant way of hiding great teachings in a funny, personable movie with a great female protagonist.
You can learn more about the film and her campaign at www.killingbuddhathemovie.com

DharmaSmart has created a special bracelet to help non-profit organization Yoga Gives Back raise funds to support women in India with micro-financing and education. Yoga is a gift from ancient India, embraced by the West. Today, however 76% of India’s population-800 million people-live below the poverty line of $2.50 a day. Non-profit organization Yoga Gives Back has a mission to mobilize the global yoga community to empower women in India to build sustainable livelihoods. Inspired by Nobel Peace Prize recipient Dr. Muhammad Yunus’ revolutionary micro financing breakthrough, Yoga Gives Back supports micro credit programs in India which lend small loans to women in particular, who have no access to capital. Additionally, the organization developed “Sister Aid” programs where YGB directly funds education, vocational training and micro credit programs for struggling mothers, girls and orphans. Women are the best poverty fighters-the most effective return on investment for development dollars is an investment in women. With $25 a month, mothers can start their own businesses; girls and orphans can go to school. DharmaSmart.com is a new online store that serves the yoga community with “Purposeful Living Essentials.” The company has designed a special cuff bracelet for yoga practitioners to wear in support of the work that Yoga Gives Back is doing. The cuff retails for just $25 and $10 goes straight to Yoga Gives Back. The cuffs will be featured at the second annual Global Day of Support “Thank You Mother India” to be held on Saturday, September 29th in Malibu, California. For more information about the event, including sponsorship opportunities, visit this page: YogaGivesBack.org Those who want to contribute to Yoga Gives Back through the purchase of one of these original cuffs may find them online at: DharmaSmart.com

Here at CoffeyTalk we are big fans of what Yoga Gives Back is doing to help the women of India to build their own businesses and to educate their children. It is an honor to have this opportunity to give back to a country and culture that has given us so much valuable ancient wisdom.