The soul is stirred by travel. I have found this to be true with every trip I take. There’s always some purpose that I find, some lessons that I take with me, and carry with me long after I have departed a place. So much so that I am following the Dalai Lama’s advice when he said: “Once a year go someplace you’ve never been before.”

Oftentimes we take a vacation to relax, to unwind, or to disconnect from the real world. But what we find is that after we’ve gone through this process, we wake up, we reconnect with our true self, and with everything that is indeed “Real.” This is how I feel after my trip to Loreto, Mexico. What started out as a getaway to a luxury resort ended up as an enriching spiritual experience, one that I will remember always. Here are some of the lessons I learned from Loreto:

1) Honor Where You Are. Loreto is one of those “middle of nowhere” places. When most people think of Baja, California, they think of Cabo San Lucas – a popular tourist destination. But Loreto is a jewel that is often overlooked. Situated on the east coast of Baja, and set on the pristine Sea of Cortez, Loreto offers the beauty of nature and an authentic experience of Mexican culture and cuisine.

800 square miles of Loreto is a National Marine Park that includes its five islands. Jacques Cousteau was a frequent visitor. As a National Park, the animals, including whale, dolphin and a wide variety of birds, including the blue-footed booby, are protected in the marine sanctuary. We ventured out to see the islands and enjoyed lunch at Honeymoon Beach where a seagull stole an unattended sandwich! It’s his home; we were just visiting, so I didn’t mind sharing.

The Pitaya cactus plants found throughout Loreto are tall and proud, some more than 200 years old. These are also protected in Mexico, both revered and appreciated by the locals.

Because Loreto is so far from large cities local chefs emphasize foods that can be grown in their own gardens. Chef Alfonso Pelegrina grows many herbs and vegetables right on the property of the Villa del Palmar at Loreto and uses them in the recipes he makes for his three restaurants. Super fresh, organic, local, cared for with love – what could be better? This! Whether you are gluten-free, vegan, kosher – whatever your particular dietary needs are – the Chef is happy to accommodate and create something special just for you.

“Honor Where You Are” also can be taken in a spiritual sense. How are you feeling? What does your body need right now? It’s being in tune with your senses, and giving yourself that gift of care. During morning yoga on the beach I felt refreshed by the salt air. I adjusted each pose gently, honoring my body’s need to stretch without overdoing it. Yoga isn’t a competition; it’s a personal practice. Yoga on the sand is an extra challenge, but a delightful one.

2) Practica Sus Sonrisas. This translates to “Practice Your Smiles!” In a small town like Loreto, with a population of 15,000, it’s easy to see how we are all connected. The Law of Relationship says that we are here to help each other learn and grow, and that’s even more true in the “middle of nowhere.” We rely on each other. Everyone becomes your friend. The people in Loreto are so warm and welcoming and happy and helpful. I was greeted with smiles everywhere I went.

Loreto was established in 1697. Now those were difficult times! To set up a city in the desert was tough. No water, no electricity. There were many obstacles to overcome, and it took several decades. You can see process of building the Nuestra Senora de Loreto Mission by looking at the styles and ages of the brick walls. Somehow they hung in there and got it done. At one point, explorers thought that California, and Baja California, was one big island. The Museum in Loreto has old maps that illustrate this. As a California native I especially appreciate the glimpse into history.

In town I bought a beautiful, handmade sterling silver ring to keep as a souvenir. I also indulged in a homemade frozen guava treat – vegan, of course! I’m sure the ice cream store’s owner, who served me personally, grew the guavas himself, too. It was so yummy on a hot day as I strolled through the arched trees marking the start of the original El Camino Real, a California landmark. How could I not have a smile on my face?

3) Explore Your Potential. Loreto is a small town, but it was a much smaller town back in the 1700’s. It’s come a long way. And right now it is growing. There’s an airport, with direct flights from Los Angeles, Calgary, and some cities in Mexico. The Villa del Palmar at Loreto is a luxury resort on 137,000 acres, with gourmet restaurants, three pools, a spa, and soon they’ll have a golf course as well. The hotel is self-sustaining. They have a desalination plant on site, so you can drink the water. Plus, it’s super eco-friendly as they are powered mostly by solar energy. Employees are encouraged to further their education and supported with classes right on the property.

We can surprise ourselves by all that we can accomplish when we set our minds to it. There are no limits – even if we think there are. It’s just pure potential. We have the capacity to do whatever it is that we want to do. We have the desires that we have for a reason, because it is possible for us to achieve them, to make them a reality in our own lives. There are examples all around us.

4) Leave Some Time to Just Hang Out. Life keeps us busy, that’s for sure. We’re constantly jumping from one thing to the next, with hardly a pause in between. We’re so in the habit of this that we continue the pace even when we’re on vacation. I can think of many places I’ve visited where our scheduled were jam-packed with activity, and the only rest I got was in the car on the way.

But Loreto is different. Instead of an ocean that is in constant motion, the Sea of Cortez is calm, almost still. It’s gentle quiet sets the pace. Rather than going surfing, people go paddle boarding, and snorkeling. The water is like glistening gems – aquamarine, emerald, and sapphire in color – clear, clean and beautiful. You can hike along the surrounding ridges and see the islands from a higher vantage point, nestled in the sea like they were placed there artistically and with precision. You can’t help but stop and take in the glory of nature that is everywhere you look. There’s no rush. There’s room to breathe, and time to enjoy.

I came home from Loreto refreshed, renewed, and inspired. A little sun, a little spa, and some good food does wonders for the soul. I enjoyed both the adventure of exploring a new place, and the relaxation of feeling completely comfortable. Loreto is a place I will return to, as there are many more lessons to be learned.

As summer approaches and we start preparing for our getaways, there’s one more thing we need to consider: A Travel Sleep Plan.

There are many ways that our sleep gets disrupted when we travel. But before we go, we can prepare with some great sleep strategies. Let’s look some of the biggest sleep thieves, and how we can get them under control.

Sleep Thief: Dry air in airplanes and hotel rooms can lead to headaches, dry skin and dehydration. A dry atmosphere also creates conditions for cold and flu germs to spread easily. All of this can cause us to lose precious sleep.

Arrest the Thief: Carry aerosol water with you in your carry case to spritz on your face throughout the flight. They come in sizes less than three ounces so it’s not a problem with TSA. Another good thing to pack is a saline nasal spray. This helps to keep your nasal passages moist. Also, once you get through security, buy a bottle of water to carry with you on board. Choose water that is room temperature, not cold. If you have the chance to order a beverage, select an herb tea. Avoid alcohol, and also caffeinated or carbonated drinks. Once you’re in the hotel room, turn the air conditioning off, and open a window if possible to let in fresh air. You can also leave cups of water around the room to hydrate the air.

Sleep Thief: Motion Sickness can happen when you are riding in a car, on a plane, or on a ship. If the weather causes turbulence, it can be aggravated. We get motion sick when we lose our equilibrium, or balance. A signal goes from our inner ear to the brain that something is out of whack, the sensory input from the eyes doesn’t match up. We can feel dizzy, nauseous, and generally bad. It’s difficult to sleep with all this going on!

Arrest the Thief: Make sure you get plenty of sleep before you embark on your journey. When you are well rested you’ll be able to handle turbulence better. If you’re driving, make sure to stop every couple of hours to get out and walk around. Get grounded by stretching your legs and letting your feet feel the earth. On a plane of ship, get up and walk around, and also do some leg exercises to get your blood circulating. Chew on some candied ginger to help alleviate nausea.

Sleep Thief: Jet Lag happens when we travel quickly across time zones. Our internal bio-rhythms get out of sync with the time at our new destination. And when we travel from west to east, the problems are worse because it’s more difficult to advance our sleep time than to delay it.

Arrest the Thief: Before you travel, try to gradually adjust your sleep times to the time at your destination. On the plane, set your watch to your new time zone. Keep this new time in mind when planning your nap strategy on board – stay awake if you can. Upon arrival, get some exercise. Daylight can help reset our internal clock, so take a morning walk first thing when you wake up in your new locale, and spend as much time as possible outdoors. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and sugar – stimulants such as these make the effects of jet lag worse.

Sleep Thief: Unfamiliar surroundings can make us feel uncomfortable, which makes it difficult to relax and get to sleep.

Arrest the Thief: Ask for a quiet hotel room away from the elevator and ice machine. Make sure the drapes are shut all the way so the room is dark. Bring a sleep mask with you if you like the dark in case there are no blackout drapes in the room. Bring some personal items from home to make the environment more comfortable. It’s nice to have your own alarm clock with you, a soft blanket, and most importantly, your own pillow. Many pillows now come in travel sizes, so you can get a small version of the one you use at home.

Interestingly, despite all these sleep thieves, many people report that they actually sleep better when they are away from home. Maybe it’s because they don’t have access to their computer, so they’re not spending as much time in front of a screen. But most likely it’s because they are sleeping on a newer mattress. Many hotels pride themselves on providing high quality, new mattresses. And many travelers have mattresses at home that are long overdue to be replaced. If you find yourself sleeping better while you’re away, check your mattress when you get home. Chances are it’s more than five to seven years old and it’s time to get a new one.

Lots more sleep tips at BetterSleep.org

Happy Travels, and Sweet Dreams!

In Los Angeles, it’s rather rare to be friends with your neighbors. I this this isn’t the case everywhere, but here in the city where you spend so much time in your car, many times you don’t even know the names of the people who live on your street. It’s the kind of city where the garage is part of the house – so you go from the car through the garage and into the house with hardly a polite wave to anyone who happens to be driving in or out of the their driveway at the same time.

I’ve lived in many places in and around Los Angeles and I’ve found this to be true for the most part. But our current neighborhood is different. And it’s all because of Wally.

Wally moved in next door about 7 years ago when he married my neighbor Laurie. Wally, with his ever-present smile, made a point of meeting every single person on the cul-de-sac. It’s not like this was a “Knot’s Landing” situation where we all knew each other. We just all knew Wally. To say he was friendly is an understatement. This man was cheerful, warm, welcoming, and enthusiastic with everyone. I’ve never met anyone more positive, more present, or more kind than Wally.

Wally had a fondness for Hawaiian shirts and flip flops, and I’d often see him wearing this standard Wally uniform, wholeheartedly engaged with one of the neighbors, lost in conversation, often laughing, clearly enjoying himself.

Wally and I would often chat over the backyard fence, like something out of an old sit-com, while I picked lemons and he watered tomatoes. Wally loved spending time in the garden. One time he brought home an apricot tree that he didn’t have room for, so he gave it to me, and my husband Greg, to plant in our yard. I promised Wally that he could have as many apricots as he wanted when the tree produced fruit. That made him very happy.

The garbage gets picked up on Fridays on our street. For awhile, Greg and I had a mystery on our hands because we couldn’t figure out how the empty cans made it back into our yard on Friday afternoons. Then one day we figured it out – it was Wally, being a good neighbor and friend, doing us a favor. So Greg turned the tables, and started bringing in Wally’s cans. That precipitated a weekly competition, a kind of race between Wally and Greg to see who could get out to the cans first and bring them all in! Greg was always pleased when he beat Wally to the cans, but more often than not, Wally got their first. One time they both heard the garbage truck and ran out to the sidewalk at the same time. They laughed like 2 kids caught playing. Greg brought in Wally’s cans and Wally brought in Greg’s. It was a tie.

We all shared a love of nature, and the wildlife on the lake. Wally and Laurie were right there with us when we rescued a baby hawk who had fallen from his nest. Greg and I helped find a beekeeper to relocate a cluster of bees that moved into Wally and Laurie’s back porch.

Pretty much every day I could count on Wally to text me a picture of a squirrel or a goose in the backyard. He’d be the first to “like” one of my Facebook posts, the first to offer help and prayers when I was hurt, and the first to cheer me on when I announced a new project.

Wally had many passions. He was crazy about Laurie, of course. And he also loved music. A lifelong musician, he was really happy just playing the guitar, making music with friends. He kept musicians hours, too. If we heard a noise late Thursday night we’d smile – knowing it was just Wally, taking out the garbage cans.

Perhaps Wally’s greatest passion was his faith. Wally loved Jesus, and served his church community in many ways.

Last week, Wally went to be with God. It was unexpected – a shock to the whole neighborhood when we saw the fire truck in front of the home he shared with Laurie, the home he loved so much.

When someone dies, we often turn to our community for comfort. And these days, our community gathers on Facebook. When I went to Wally’s page I found dozens and dozens of posts, tributes from friends of Wally’s from all over the world. Wally’s reach wasn’t limited to our particular neighborhood. His arms were so wide that he was able to embrace everyone. His heart was so big that he was able to love everyone. And it is evident that everyone loved him right back.

Wally was such a light in this world. We can all be like this – good neighbors, and good friends. After all we are here to help each other, we’re here for this reason so we might as well extend ourselves in some way. People like Wally are good examples for us, and they leave behind a legacy in the lessons that they teach us in the way they live their lives. This is wisdom.

I can picture Wally rejoicing in Heaven, wearing his flip flops and playing his guitar, looking up to greet everyone going by with that big smile of his. I will hold my friend in my heart, and think of him every time I water my lemon tree.

It’s always nice when Spring comes around – but those of us with seasonal allergies might be a bit concerned about how this season affects their sleep. And with good reason! A study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine showed that people with hay fever and other allergies have difficulty sleeping. These folks are also more than twice as likely as non-allergy sufferers to deal with sleep disorders like insomnia.

Allergies come about when pollen, (abundant in the Spring!) and other allergens, such as house dust or pet dander, irritate the nasal passages. This causes symptoms such as sneezing, runny nose, and watery eyes, and affects up to 50% of all Americans.

Insomnia, sleep apnea (irregular breathing), and other sleep disorders affect up to 30% of Americans.

Allergy symptoms tend to get worse during the night for a variety of reasons. Allergies cause the nasal passages to swell, so there’s less room for air to pass through, making nose breathing difficult. Cortisol, an anti-inflammatory hormone, is at its lowest level overnight. This causes a higher level of inflammation in the nose and lungs. Lying down to sleep brings gravity into play, and that can cause congestion to shift, which makes nose breathing even more difficult. Also, exposure to dust mites, or pets is more common at night, which increases allergy symptoms. And, histamine, which is actively involved in the regulation of sleep, may worsen allergy symptoms.

With all of this going on, it’s easy to see how breathing through the mouth could cause a dry mouth or sore throat. Postnasal drop from a runny nose can cause you to cough. Interrupted breathing, or sleep apnea, can lead to snoring. And when we’re not breathing properly, we’re more likely to get a headache. All of these things also interfere with our sleep.

It’s no surprise that the worse the allergy symptoms are, the more trouble people have both getting to sleep, and staying asleep. And even when they do sleep, allergy sufferers often report that they feel sleepy during the day. Most say that their allergy symptoms, like sneezing and sniffling, also disrupts their partner’s sleep.

So what can we do during allergy season to help us get through the night with a good night’s sleep?

First of all, make sure you follow the guidelines that The Better Sleep Council outlines for everyone to get a good night’s sleep, anytime of year:

-Keep the bedroom dark, cool, and quiet.

-Avoid caffeine late in the day.

-“Unplug” yourself from computers and other electronic devices an hour before bed.

-Keep technology out of the bedroom.

You can also add in some of the natural allergy remedies:

-Shower before bed. This helps to wash off any of the pollen or other allergens that transferred onto your body during the day.

-Keep bedroom windows closed to keep allergens from coming in with the breeze.

-Change sheets and pillow cases regularly. Use natural fabrics, and natural cleansers for your linens. Look for products that are labeled “hypoallergenic.”

-Take a steam bath to help loosen up congestion to help you breathe more easily.

-Have a cup of hot tea (herbal tea, not caffeinated!) or hot water with lemon, to loosen up congestion.

-Use a nasal saline rinse. This helps reduce the swelling in the nasal passages, and also washes out any pollen that might be in the nose. Nasal decongestant sprays are not recommended for allergies as long-term usage (more than 3 days) can actually make the nose more inflamed.

-If you have pet allergies, keep your pets off the bed, and if possible, out of the bedroom.

-Protect yourself from dust mites by using plastic covers for your mattress and pillow to avoid exposure at night. If your bed is older than 5 years old, consider buying a new mattress. Pillows should be replaced every 6 months, and certainly never be kept longer than 2 years. Look for a pillow that fills the gap between your head and shoulders when you lie down.

-Check your heating and air conditioner system. Make sure filters are clean. You may consider investing in an air filtration system for the bedroom.

-Vacuum carpets and furniture often. Some vacuums come with an extra allergy filter built in. If you have wood or tile floors, keep them free of dust and pet dander.

-To add moisture to the air, consider using a humidifier. Make sure the water is changed frequently so that mold doesn’t grow.

If your allergies continue to keep you from getting the sleep that is so important your health and well-being, talk with your doctor or allergist to get a full evaluation and figure out your treatment options.

How well we sleep at night definitely has an effect on how well we function during the day. And it’s not just the quantity of sleep we get; it’s also the quality of sleep we get.

If you’re having trouble getting to sleep, or if you’re waking up and can’t get back to sleep in the middle of the night, take a look at your environment, and see what changes need to be made. The Better Sleep Council has these tips to turn your bedroom into a sleep sanctuary:

-Keep a regular sleep routine. Head to bed at the same time each night to help program your body for sleep. Have some transition time between activity and sleep. Take a warm bath, or read an entertaining book.

-Keep your bedroom technology free. Many people keep a television in the bedroom, thinking this will help them relax or fall asleep at the end of the day. But television actually stimulates the mind, rather than settling it down. Even the most relaxing show interferes with our body clock because of the flickering lights. The same is true for the computer screen, or the cell phone.

-Don’t bring work to bed with you. If you associate your bed with work, it is harder to wind down at night. Reserve your bed for sleep and sex only. That way, when you tuck yourself in, your body gets a powerful cue – it’s time to sleep!

-Keep the bedroom dark and cool. In keeping with the cycle of nature, darkness triggers the body to produce melatonin, which helps us to sleep. Having too much light in the room confuses your body clock. If you don’t have heavy curtains to block any outside light, try using a sleep mask. The temperature in the room also affects how well you sleep. Most people sleep best in a slightly cool room, not too hot or too cold.

-Make sure your bed is comfortable. You want your bed to be big enough so that you have enough room to stretch and turn comfortably. And if there are two of you that share a bed, you both need to have enough space. A Queen or King sized bed is best. If you’re waking up with back pain, or you find that you are tossing and turning at night, check your bed for signs of wear, like lumps or sags,. If you’ve had your mattress for five years or more, it might be time to get a new one.

-Your bed linens and pajamas should be soft and comfortable as well. Choose natural fabrics that feel good on your skin.

-Keep the room quiet. Sleep studies show that we get a more restful night’s sleep when we are not distracted by sounds. If you can’t avoid or eliminate noise from dogs, neighbors, or traffic, try masking it with a fan, with white noise, or with soothing music. Earplugs can also help.

-Invite sleep with fragrance. Aromatherapy helps to quiet the chatter in your mind. Essential oils in lavender, chamomile or sandalwood are particularly relaxing. Just a drop on your pillowcase will help you drift off into slumber.

When you create a sleep sanctuary you look forward to going to bed knowing that you are going to get a great night’s sleep. Sweet dreams!

More info at BetterSleep.org

BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Alejandro G. Irritu, John Lesher and James W. Skotchdopole, Producers

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Julianne Moore in Still Alice

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything

ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
Alejandro G. Irritu, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Imitation Game
Written by Graham Moore

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Written by Alejandro G. Irritu, Nicols Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Jr. & Armando Bo

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SCORE)
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Alexandre Desplat

ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SONG)
“Glory” from Selma
Music and Lyric by John Stephens and Lonnie Lynn

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
CitizenFour
Laura Poitras, Mathilde Bonnefoy and Dirk Wilutzky

ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING
Whiplash
Tom Cross

ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Emmanuel Lubezki

ACHIEVEMENT IN PRODUCTION DESIGN
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Production Design: Adam Stockhausen; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR
Big Hero 6
Don Hall, Chris Williams and Roy Conli

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Feast
Patrick Osborne and Kristina Reed

ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS
Interstellar
Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, Ian Hunter and Scott Fisher

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Patricia Arquette in Boyhood

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING
American Sniper
Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING
Whiplash
Craig Mann, Ben Wilkins and Thomas Curley

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1
Ellen Goosenberg Kent and Dana Perry

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
The Phone Call
Mat Kirkby and James Lucas

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM OF THE YEAR
Ida (Poland)

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Frances Hannon and Mark Coulier

ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Milena Canonero

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
J.K. Simmons in Whiplash

BEST FEATURE
Birdman
Producers: Alejandro G. Irritu, John Lesher, Arnon Milchan, James W. Skotchdopole

BEST MALE LEAD
Michael Keaton, Birdman

BEST FEMALE LEAD
Julianne Moore, Still Alice

BEST DIRECTOR
Richard Linklater, Boyhood

BEST DOCUMENTARY
Citizenfour
Director/Producer: Laura Poitras
Producers: Mathilde Bonnefoy, Dirk Wilutzky

BEST SCREENPLAY
Dan Gilroy, Nightcrawler

KIEHL’S SOMEONE TO WATCH AWARD
H., Directors: Rania Attieh & Daniel Garcia

BEST SUPPORTING MALE
J.K. Simmons, Whiplash

BEST FIRST FEATURE
Nightcrawler
Director: Dan Gilroy; Producers: Jennifer Fox, Tony Gilroy, Jake Gyllenhaal, David Lancaster, Michel Litvak

JOHN CASSAVETES AWARD
Land Ho!
Writers/Directors: Aaron Katz & Martha Stephens; Producers: Christina Jennings, Mynette Louie, Sara Murphy

BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM
Ida (Poland), Director: Pawel Pawlikowski

20th ANNUAL LENSCRAFTERS TRUER THAN FICTION AWARD
The Kill Team, Director: Dan Krauss

BEST FIRST SCREENPLAY
Justin Simien, Dear White People

BEST SUPPORTING FEMALE
Patricia Arquette, Boyhood

BEST EDITING
Tom Cross, Whiplash

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Emmanuel Lubezki, Birdman

POST-ROMANTIC STRESS DISORDER (PRSD)

What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over By John Bradshaw

Visionary John Bradshaw Offers A Step-by-Step Program for Deepening Mature Love and Intimacy

Deerfield Beach, FL, February 17, 2015 – Most divorces could be prevented if couples knew what to do “when the honeymoon is over,” visionary counselor, theologian, bestselling author and addiction specialist John Bradshaw explains in a new book, POST-ROMANTIC STRESS DISORDER (PRSD): What to Do When the Honeymoon is Over (HCI Books, Publication Date: November 2014, ISBN-13: 9780757318139, $15.95).

Based on Bradshaw’s new research, PRSD is a very real and serious psychological disorder destroying relationships unnecessarily. In the book, however, he offers a step-by-step program for deepening mature love and intimacy, as well as an easily mastered series of exercises for becoming a better partner.

Couples just don’t know how to navigate the emotional swings that almost every marriage creates, he argues. If couples learn and understand the concepts Bradshaw presents in his book, the portrait of the family unit could have a whole new landscape. In POST-ROMANTIC STRESS DISORDER (PRSD), Bradshaw explains the brain circuitry that connects us to love and romance.

It was Bradshaw, in his groundbreaking work HOMECOMING, who helped us understand and heal the wounded and vulnerable “inner child.” His dynamic therapies are practiced all over the world. A much sought-out speaker, Bradshaw has truly touched and transformed the lives of millions. Bradshaw’s other best-sellers have included HEALING THE SHAME THAT BINDS YOU and CREATING LOVE. He has combined his exceptional skills in the role of counselor, author, management consultant, theologian, philosopher, and public speaker, becoming one of the leading figures in the fields of recovery, family systems, relationships, spiritual and emotional growth and management training.

In POST-ROMANTIC STRESS DISORDER, this great teacher opens the gate to a new frontier, tackling issues that threaten and endanger so many modern relationships. As he so brilliantly observed some time ago, “As the health of the marriage goes, so goes the health of the family.”

John Bradshaw is available for interviews. For more information, to request a review copy, or to arrange an interview, please contact Sandra Goroff at 617-750-0555 or via email at sgma@aol.com or Kim Weiss (at the publisher) at: 800-851-9100 x. 212 or kimw@hcibooks.com.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

John Bradshaw has combined his exceptional skills in the role of counselor, author, management consultant, theologian, philosopher, and public speaker, becoming one of the leading figures in the fields of addiction recovery, family systems, relationships, spiritual and emotional growth and management training. His dynamic therapies are practiced all over the world. A much sought-out speaker, Bradshaw has truly touched and transformed the lives of millions. Bradshaw is The New York Times bestselling author of Healing the Shame that Binds You, Homecoming, and Creating Love.
He has presented more than 500 keynote speeches, workshops and talks. He has hosted, appeared on, and been interviewed by more than 800 TV and radio shows, including: Oprah, Politically Incorrect, GMA, CNN News, the BBC, and Sirius Radio. Bradshaw has also been interviewed by, or written articles for, more than 500 publications, including Newsweek, Rolling Stone, People, Chicago Tribune, and the Boston Globe.

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW:

1. What do you hope to achieve with this book?

With a divorce rate of 51% and 17% of those staying married claiming to be unhappy, I’m hoping to stop people from throwing away perfectly good marriages!

2. Explain how people are throwing away perfectly good marriages?

Essentially it comes from a confusion of love and being in-love. In over a hundred research studies, over 50% of the people interviewed said that true love was being in-love with its amazing sex.

3. You’re saying that people who have lost the kind of sexual desire they had while in-love, no longer love each other?

That’s exactly what 50% of people believe!

4. Why is that an enormous belief?

New research (especially Helen Fisher’s, one of the leading anthropologists in the United States) has shown convincingly that we have three innate programs; one for lust, one for being in-love, and one for attachment.

5. What is the difference between lust and being in-love?

Lust involves the simple desire to have sex with someone. It involves a lot of control. After sex, a lusting only partner wants to leave. Not so when you are in-love. You are “out of control” and you want to be with your beloved all the time. Lust can lead to falling in-love and falling in-love can lead to lust.

6. What do you mean by “attachment?”

Attachment flows from being in-love and having great to amazing sex. As lovers move toward the end of the in-love cycle, and think about settling down and having offspring, new brain chemicals, vasopressin and oxytocin (the cuddle chemicals), reduce dopamine and norepinephrine which are the chemicals responsible for the energetic, high testosterone behaviors that characterize being in-love. They move a couple to settle down and to consider offspring.

7. So what is Post Romantic Stress Disorder?

The in-love brain program lasts from 12 to 18 months and when it ends—a person’s testosterone (the sex chemical)—goes back to normal levels before falling in love. The low T partner loses sexual desire first and after months of automatic and routine sex, says, “let’s just cuddle tonight” or some statement denying sex. I call this the “sexual breach” which is mild to severe for the high T partner. In-love is an altered state of consciousness—once it ends, a couple returns to their normal lives before they fall in-love. This can be an enormous stress for those who are highly dependent or have shame-based personalities.

8. The second part of your book is based on three other new discoveries. What are they?

a. The neuroplasticity of the brain
b. The human will as a physical force that can change the very structure of the brain
c. The primacy of affects (feelings)

9. Comment on the will as a physical force that can change the structure of the brain?

The work of Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz at UCLA (and his colleague Sharon Begly) with OCD patients, using a four affirmation set over ten weeks, showed that the willed affirmations had changed the part of the brain responsible for the obsessive compulsions. Schwartz and his team did MRI brain scans before and after the ten week program.

10. You present a three stage model of how true mature love grows. Comment on that please.

Stage One: Family of Origin
Conflicts-Rules: both (overt and covert) work through blocks from your past (especially childhood)
Stage Two: Independence
The stage wherein we facilitate each other’s solid sense of self. Must be independent before you can be interdependent.
Stage Three: Interdependence
The world of “ours,” where what we have and do is not mine or yours, it’s ours.

BEST FILM
BOYHOOD
Richard Linklater, Cathleen Sutherland

LEADING ACTRESS
JULIANNE MOORE
Still Alice

LEADING ACTOR
EDDIE REDMAYNE
The Theory of Everything

DIRECTOR
BOYHOOD
Richard Linklater

EE RISING STAR
Jack O’Connell

COSTUME DESIGN
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Milena Canonero

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING
Anthony McCarten

FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
IDA
Pawel Pawlikowski, Eric Abraham, Piotr Dzieciol, Ewa Puszczynska

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Wes Anderson

OUTSTANDING DEBUT BY A BRITISH WRITER, DIRECTOR OR PRODUCER
STEPHEN BERESFORD (Writer), DAVID LIVINGSTONE (Producer)
Pride

CINEMATOGRAPHY
BIRDMAN
Emmanuel Lubezki

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
PATRICIA ARQUETTE
Boyhood

SUPPORTING ACTOR
J.K. SIMMONS
Whiplash

SPECIAL VISUAL EFFECTS
INTERSTELLAR
Paul Franklin, Scott Fisher, Andrew Lockley

ANIMATED FILM
THE LEGO MOVIE
Phil Lord, Christopher Miller

SOUND
WHIPLASH
Thomas Curley, Ben Wilkins, Craig Mann

EDITING
WHIPLASH
Tom Cross

BRITISH SHORT ANIMATION
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Chris Hees, Daisy Jacobs, Jennifer Majka

BRITISH SHORT FILM
BOOGALOO AND GRAHAM
Brian J. Falconer, Michael Lennox, Ronan Blaney

PRODUCTION DESIGN
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Adam Stockhausen, Anna Pinnock

MAKE UP & HAIR
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Frances Hannon

DOCUMENTARY
CITIZENFOUR
Laura Poitras

ORIGINAL MUSIC
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Alexandre Desplat

OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING
James Marsh, Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Lisa Bruce, Anthony McCarten

Is your New Year’s resolution to get a better night’s sleep every night this year? Terrific! There are lots of things you can do, including creating a sleep sanctuary in your bedroom, and replacing your old mattress. But have you thought about going on a diet? In my last post we looked at some of the foods to avoid in order to get the sleep you need. This time around, I’ve got a list of foods to favor; foods that can actually help you sleep soundly!

The “YES” List for Sweet Sleep:

-Almonds: Almonds are high in magnesium, a mineral that is beneficial for quality sleep.

-Cereal: As long as you just have a small amount, the carbs and calcium combo is helpful when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. Choose a whole grain, low or no sugar cereal.

-Cheese and crackers: In moderation – just a few! The calcium that is in cheese helps the brain use tryptophan to make melatonin, the hormone that helps to regulate our sleeping and waking cycles. Calcium also helps to regulate muscle movements, so we relax.

-Chamomile Tea: Chamomile increases glycine, which helps to relax the nerves and muscles. Just a small cup is all that is needed, and have it at least an hour before bed.

-Cherry Juice: Cherries natural boost our melatonin levels, ensuring a great night’s sleep.

-Hummus: Hummus is made of chickpeas, and chickpeas are a great source of tryptophan. Tryptophan is the amino acid that helps us produce both serotonin and melatonin.

-Jasmine Rice: Jasmine rice has a high glycemic index, so it helps you to fall asleep faster than other types of rice.

-Kale: A popular “super” food right now, Kale, as well as other dark greens like spinach and mustard greens, is high in calcium, making it a great snack for sleep.

-Lettuce: Lettuce contains lactucarium, which has sedative properties. An easy way to get this is to take 3-4 large lettuce leaves, place in 1 cup of room temperature, or warm water for 15 minutes. Add a sprig of mint or a squeeze of lemon for flavor, and sip about an hour before bed.

-Passionfruit Tea: Passionfruit tea is an herb tea, so there’s no caffeine. This tea contains Harman alkaloids that soothe the nervous system. Again, keep liquids to a minimum and drink at least an hour before you hit the sack.

-Pistachios: Pistachios are high in vitamin B6, which helps the body make melatonin and serotonin. Other foods that are high in B6 include tuna, salmon, and halibut.

-Walnuts: Walnuts are super high in the sleep inducing amino acid tryptophan. Tryptophan helps the body make both serotonin and melatonin. Serotonin helps us to be in a good mood, and melatonin regulates our body clock.