Guest Bloggers, Author at Coffey Talk

06 Sep

Secrets of the I Ching

Secrets-of-the-IChing In her documentary, THE SECRETS OF I CHING, filmmaker Bettina Wilhelm goes in search of the life and achievements of her grandfather, Richard Wilhelm, by following in his footsteps through China and Europe. She combines historical exposition with pictures of China today in pursuit of the essential theme of Richard Wilhelm’s life: to discover how the great truths and wisdom of mankind can outlast historical change and continue to retain their relevance. Richard Wilhelm was fascinated by the cultural heritage of the universal wisdom he discovered in the Chinese classics. With his translations he tried to impart these Chinese cultural treasures, so that Europe and the West might meet together, eye to eye and on a par. Wilhelm’s indefatigable efforts and the fascinating texts he made available, give the film a longlasting vibrancy.

Richard Wilhelm came to China as a young missionary, where he soon set up a mission that went against conventional expectation. He did not baptize a single Chinese. Instead he strove towards an understanding of Chinese thinking. China was being bled to death by the colonial powers and Richard Wilhelm experienced at first hand revolts against foreigners, the passing of the imperial-dynasties and the First World War. During a time of such turbulent upheaval, he searched relentlessly for the deepest truths that might enable people to deal with the changes and to shape their own lives. He accomplished some of the greatest works of translation of the 20th century: CONFUCIUS, LAOTSE, other classical texts of DAOISM and, most importantly, the I CHING, THE BOOK OF CHANGES. This book has served as an inspiration for many readers. Even today, Wilhelm is considered one of the most distinguished mediators of Chinese culture in the West.

Whilst Wilhelm’s translation of Confucius and Laotse arose from his own personal quest, it was a Chinese scholar who drew his attention to the I GING, THE BOOK OF CHANGES, one of the most complex works of Chinese culture and philosophy. Like other imperial magistrates in 1911 after the decline of the empire and China’s transformation into a republic, the scholar had taken refuge in the German leased territory of Qingdao. Wilhelm was both fascinated and worried by the tremendous changes taking place in China and in the world at large. Like C. G. Jung, with whom he was friends from the 1920s, he searched for universal wisdom that could withstand historical change. It was Wilhelm’s translation of the I Ging, transcribed from German into English, which lead to the wide circulation in the West of The Book of Changes and to its being held to be one of the greatest and most relevant of classical Chinese texts.

BIOGRAPHY RICHARD WILHELM

Born in Stuttgart in 1873, Richard Wilhelm went to Qingdao in 1899 as a young missionary with the East Asia Mission at a time when the territory was leased to Germany. He founded a school there, which still exists today and bears his name, as well as a hospital. He was an unusual missionary for throughout his entire life he never baptized a single Chinese. Instead he allowed himself to be converted to Chinese wisdom. The times he lived through were turbulent. In 1900 the so-called Boxer Rebellion broke out against foreigners who had colonised the country. During this period, Wilhelm was no mere observer. When German troups attacked Chinese villages he, together with a Chinese doctor, intervened as negotiator thus avoiding further bloodshed. In 1911 he experienced a tremendous turning point in Chinese history when the country became a republic after more than two thousand years of empire. During the first World War, Germany had lost its Chinese colony and Qingdao was occupied by the Japanese. In the face of dire conditions, Richard Wilhelm retained his ironic sense of humour, enabling him to observe events as they unfolded with relative objectivity. In 1920 he returned to Germany for a short period, where he met with C. G. Jung, Albert Schweizer, Hermann Hesse and Count Keyserling. Once more he spent two more years in China, this time not as a missionary but as scientific advisor to the German embassy and a visiting professor at the Beida, the University of Beijing. In 1924 he assumed the first chair of Sinology at the University of Frankfurt, where he also founded the China Institute to further cultural exchange and research into the most profound truths that unite different cultures and periods of time. His friendship with C. G. Jung deepened, with whom he published the book, THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER.

Richard Wilhelm died in 1930 at the age of 56. He is buried at the graveyard of Bad Boll in Swabia. The eight symbols, which make up the cornerstone of the I Ching, surround his grave.

I CHING – THE BOOK OF CHANGES

For some time the I Ching has not only been known by experts, but from the 1970s in particular by a broader public as well. The I Ching is one of the oldest books of mankind, whose oracle was consulted by Chinese emperors since more than three thousand years ago whenever important decisions had to be made. In the course of succeeding centuries it was augmented by the flower of Chinese wisdom in the form of added commentaries by great scholars. Thus it became the fundamental philosophical text of Chinese culture. One might compare the significance of the I Ching in China with that of the Bible in Christian cultures. In the West Richard Wilhelm’s translation of the Book of Changes influenced a whole generation during the 1970s, who were seeking a deeper understanding of life. It remains a “perennial,“ which is reprinted over and over again.

THE SECRETS OF I CHING, is narrated by internationally acclaimed award-winning actor, Jonathan Pryce, known for his outstanding performances on both stage and screen, including the lead in Brazil, Glengarry Glen Ross and Age of Innocence, as well as James Bond villian Elliot Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies, and most recently The High Sparrow in HBO’s Game of Thrones.

THE SECRETS OF I CHING is currently available on VOD at DirecTV and Dish; Digital platforms include Google Play, Amazon, MicroSoft, Vudu, Vubiquity and Hoopla.

Connect with us:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecretsofIChing

For more information, please visit: http://www.wisdom-of-changes-i-ching-the-movie.com

TriCoastLandBlack PR CONTACT:

Maggi Simpson

Tricoast Entertainment

Maggi@Tricoast.com

29 Aug

Through the Fire Excerpt

This is an excerpt from “Through the Fire: Cooking Our Way Into a New Relationship With Food” by Charity Dasenbrock. charitydasenbrock.com

Some of the Basics

Michael Pollan, well-known author and lecturer about food and cooking, says that cooking is what will save the health of our people, community, world, and Mother Earth:

“The decline of everyday home cooking doesn’t only damage the health of our bodies and our land but also our families, our communities, and our sense of how our eating connects us to the world. Our growing distance from any direct, physical engagement with the processes by which the raw stuff of nature gets transformed into a cooked meal is changing our understanding of what food is. Indeed, the idea that food has any connection to nature or human work or imagination is hard to accept when it arrives in a neat package, fully formed. Food becomes just another commodity, an abstraction.”

In the United States, the birthplace of fast food, Americans eat fewer than 70 percent of their meals at home (this does not mean that the food was cooked at home) and less than a third of American families eat meals together more than twice a week, according to Emory University. At least 1 in 4 Americans eat some sort of fast food everyday and consume 1/3 more processed food than fresh. This fact, together with the epidemic of body image issues, points toward a need for fundamental change in American food culture. As we collectively return to the kitchen and the home-cooked meal, this will significantly alter the direction of nutrition and our relationship with food.

This includes not just cooking at home but eating as a family or community as well. Children and adults benefit greatly from the ritual of eating meals together. Family meals provide opportunities for sharing the day’s events and create a relaxing transition from busy daytime activities to slower-paced evening ones. Cooking meals at home and involving your children in food preparation is the best way to teach them healthy eating habits. Statistically, children who grow up in households where meals are eaten together perform better academically and show less tendency toward engaging in risky behaviors, such as smoking, drinking, and taking drugs, according to Washington State University nutrition researchers Martha Marina and Sue Butkus. I wish there were similar statistics about adult behavior, things like productivity, work days lost due to illness, etc.

We must return to the kitchen. For us to thrive, we must teach ourselves and our children the love of cooking. We all need to work on creating a culture where this is possible. There are many out there pushing this, and many out there who say it is an elitist cultural “problem.” Poor, unemployed, poverty-level people don’t have the luxury of worrying about this. They have enough to worry about just having enough food to eat, period. We as a culture owe it to our future to make sure no one is hungry and that we all have access to nutritious food.

Michael Pollan also says that:

“The food industry has done a great job of convincing eaters that corporations can cook better than we can. The problem is, it’s not true. And the food that others cook is nearly always less healthful than that which we cook ourselves. But how can we convince folks to give it a try? I think we have to lead with pleasure. Aside from the many health benefits, cooking is also one of the most interesting things humans know how to do and have done for a very long time. And we get that, or we wouldn’t be watching so much cooking on TV. There is something fascinating about it. But it’s even more fascinating when you do it yourself.”

We need to return to that intimate connection with our food. Eating is a very intimate act and experience, as cooking can be. There is no intimacy when food is planted and picked by machines, processed by machines, and then placed in a machine for cooking. The food never touches the hands (or the soul) of the eater or of the cook. The enjoyment of food is a beautiful gift given us by Mother Earth. It truly is the gift of life. No other animal experiences eating the way humans can and do. We eat for more than survival. Our food deserves to be treated with respect, love, and pleasure. We deserve to treat ourselves with that same respect, love, and pleasure.

Cooking and eating are about nourishment as well as nutrition. We can define nourishment as providing the materials necessary for life and growth from a biologic perspective. It is also about emotions, and means to support and encourage feelings, ideas, etc. Nourishment in all its forms is necessary.

There are many reasons why we cook. (For the purposes of this book, I am placing preparing food for the raw food diet in with cooking.) Some reasons are purely practical in that we have to get food on the table for our families and us to eat. Some reasons involve the science and geeky experimentation of it, or the art and beauty of it. Some reasons involve the pleasure of creating and the pleasure of eating. Some reasons involve the spiritual and holy nature of it. All cultures, races, and classes do some form of cooking. Just as eating the way we do is a uniquely human activity, so is cooking. Cooking directly connotes us with our food. It connects us with the rest of the world and our human family. It connects us to the rhythms and energy of the earth and that which we believe created it. It connects us with ourselves.

How we cook is how we are in the world.

09 Aug

How to Be You

9780143110125 Excerpted from HOW TO BE YOU: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your Life by Jeffrey Marsh, available August 2, 2016. Printed with the permission of TarcherPerigee/Penguin, a division of Penguin Random House. Copyright Jeffrey Marsh. ©2016.

#DearJeffrey
How are you so confident in life?
How can I be confident?

The confidence question is the most common one I get across all
social media, and it’s confession time: I’m not confident. At least, I
don’t always feel confident. But I suspect that when people ask me
about being confident they are really asking me about trusting
myself. “How can I be confident?” is another way of saying, “How
can I trust myself?” If you learn to trust yourself completely, deep
down, confidence isn’t an issue anymore. Confidence comes naturally
if trust is present.

Let me back up a second. The first step to developing a strong
sense of trust in yourself is understanding that other people’s opinions
of you are almost always bunk—they are based on next to nothing.
Most opinions are based on next to nothing! I don’t ever feel sure
about anything, and I bet you feel the same way sometimes. Once you
get past the initial shock and fear of realizing that few of us know even
fewer things, it is amazing. It is freeing. It is fun. Feeling sure about
knowing something and learning to trust yourself are two different
things. So do I trust myself more than I trust other people’s opinions
of me? I do now. And that, to me, is what is meant by confidence,
trusting yourself. I couldn’t have any confidence without trusting my
own perspective on the world, instead of someone else’s.

Choose one thing you think you’d like to be more confident
about and take the time to look within yourself. If you want to feel
more confident about reading things aloud at school or at work,
say, you’d need to examine what you’ve already been taught about
reading aloud, and decide what you believe about it. Does the ability
or inability to read aloud mean something about you? Is it something
that everyone should do really well? I’m not saying that uncovering
and trusting what seems true for you automatically makes you
confident, or that, in our example, it makes you excellent at reading
aloud. To me, confidence is not attached to the outcome (whether
you read well or not), it’s attached to the process: How do you treat
yourself while you’re reading aloud? Can you trust your adequacy no
matter what happens? If you know what’s most important to you, it
doesn’t matter whether the reading goes well. This is hard to talk
about because you were probably programmed to focus on how you
perform in that situation. I’m asking you to focus on how you do
what you do. That’s trust. Take a big step back. See a bigger picture.
Trusting yourself in every situation takes time and practice, and it
takes focus. It’s not about reading well, it’s about staying in that
trusting place with yourself while you read. That is the path of a
superhero.

We tend to think of superheroines as the other people, these separate
and superior superhumans who possess extraspecial skills and
thoughts. That isn’t true. They are just people who trust in themselves.
Heroines are just like you. Heroes doubt themselves at first,
just like you, but they go ahead anyway. Maybe what makes people
seem confident is their ability to move forward even as they are
building faith in themselves. They know they might make fools of
themselves; they know they might fall flat on their faces. But they go
ahead anyway, building trust along the way.

I see everyone as a hero. Life can be so tough sometimes. Other
people’s opinions can wear on you. Other people’s hatred can make
life feel very difficult for some of us. Anyone who can go through the
challenges of dealing with others’ negative opinions, of having their
dreams mocked, or their feelings ridiculed, and still get out of bed,
willing to do it again the next day . . . Whew! That person is a hero.
You are a hero.

You need to trust yourself, and your own story. You need to add
yourself to the list of heroic do-gooders because you have something
to contribute. Maybe you don’t wear a cape. (But, of course you
could!) In your own way, though, you are brave. You have the ability
to go ahead and do things you aren’t sure about. You have the ability
to go ahead and try things that other people think are stupid and
wrong, but that you, in your heart, trust is right.

And aren’t you lucky that you have the chance to do that? Aren’t
you lucky that you get this life, this chance, to learn to set aside the
yuck and muck of other people’s sometimes nasty words and do your
best to live your life as fully as you know how? You don’t need to be
confident to do that. You just need to be a dreamer and a questioner,
and have the willingness to trust that your experience—your way of
seeing things—is valid. You need to practice trusting that you are
worthy.

30 Jul

Homeward Bound

By Taj Rowland

The poet Maya Angelou once keenly observed, “The ache for home lives in all of us.”

For me, it was an ache that started early, at the young age of seven, when I was kidnapped from the street near my home in southern India, driven hours away, and sold to a Christian orphanage. Despite my insistence to the orphanage owner that I already had a home and family, he wouldn’t listen (or didn’t care). I was adopted by a family in the United States and by the time I’d learned enough English to tell my new and unsuspecting parents the truth, it was too late. When all their attempts to find my Indian family failed, America became my new home.

It was a strange country and the transition was difficult. Their customs, housing, food and language were all peculiar. It didn’t take long to realize that in order to survive, I had to forget my past and focus on my future. And so, I turned my back on India, my family, my memories—my home.

I adapted to my new country, did my best to fit in, and as time passed, I grew accustomed. I excelled in sports, school, and scouting, and was even elected student body president of my high school. In fact, I almost convinced myself that my home in India no longer mattered, that I didn’t need to look back. There was just one problem: deep inside my head and heart was a voice that whispered otherwise. Despite my best efforts to forget India, I learned that India wasn’t about to forget me.

As a youth I went to England and there interacted for the first time with large groups of Indians, people who looked just like me. As first I was terrified, but as I ate their curry, and listened to their music, and observed their colorful dress, long suppressed memories began jumping up and down in my head waving their excited arms. In England, I even drew a map of the village where I’d remembered living as a child, and I secretly vowed that one day I would return.

That day came just a handful of years later. When in college, I met (through astonishing circumstances), a girl from southern India named Priya. She was such a change from the blond, Caucasian girls I’d been dating, that when I brought her home to meet my parents, my excited mother pulled out her scrapbook full of articles, letters and photos, many related to India.

Years earlier, when looking for my family in India, my mother had written to anyone in the faraway country who would listen. Now, as Priya studied one of the replies, she commented that the handwriting looked familiar. When she turned the letter over, she gasped. It was written by her father, a man who’d actually been friends with the orphanage owner in India years earlier. What were the chances?

Priya and I married and a year later, headed to India to attend her brother’s wedding. It was my first time back since coming over as a child and I intended to make use of the trip. I had the address of the orphanage from my mother’s letters, but when I arrived, I found it was closed down. Worse, the orphanage owner had passed away. I was devastated. It was my only clue.

Let me pause here to say that most of us spend our lives searching for home. You don’t have to have been kidnapped as a child to feel the need to belong, to want to believe that your life matters, to hope that one day you’ll grasp your place in the world. It’s a yearning we all inherently share.

For me, the search was reduced to riding around in a hot and muggy rickshaw, in city after city, looking for familiar landmarks. In a country of a billion people, the odds were overwhelming.

After a multitude of setbacks and successes, on the last day I had to spend in India, I found myself on the outskirts of a city called Erode, standing in front of a hut that I believed belonged to my older brother. They’d sent for his mother—perhaps also my mother—who was down bathing in the river. As I waited, I remember seeing an old woman racing up the hill weeping profusely, begging that we tell her everything we knew about the boy who’d disappeared as a child, the son she’d never forgotten.

As we all try to find some semblance of belonging and connection in our lives, our search is seldom easy—yet we carry on. Why? I’ve learned that if we’re both patient and persistent, if we never give up, we’ll occasionally glimpse miracles.

We are all homeward bound. Good luck in your journey.

—

To learn more about Taj and his astounding journey, pick up a copy of The Orphan Keeper, available at bookstores everywhere or visit TheOrphanKeeper.com.

25 Jul

Thanks to MS I leave a Legacy Behind for my Little Ones

parenting By Oyuki Aguilar.

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis on July 22, 2008.

You can forget many things in life, but not when you find out you have an incurable disease. It was in a white office, I remember it felt like someone kicked me in the stomach, and then immediately the urge to defend myself. I began hitting back with questions. “How do I fight this? Can it be controlled? What can I do to get better?” I did not have tears running down my cheeks, I remember only a bit of anger running through me. My doctor was surprised, apparently not many people react like that right away. Truth be told, I surprised myself too. I found out that day I was stronger than I thought.

I began to follow my neurologist’s instructions and took better care of my health. I told myself I was going to give this condition the battle of a lifetime by eating healthy and nurturing my body. No more canned food or processed meats, no more saturated fats, preservatives and chemicals. I slept better, I exercised and it worked, I felt much better. Two months later I received the news that I was pregnant with my first child. I finally felt afraid for the first time; I discovered quickly that my children were always going to be my weakness. I had no idea how my disease was going to play a part in my pregnancy however I was determined to fight even harder. The next year I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl and one year later I also gave birth to my handsome son. I was so busy with a toddler and a baby that I hardly had time to worry. But as children grow and become more independent, I began to have time to pick up where I left behind and being the human that I am, sometimes I would feel uncertain or depressed.

I know our lives have no warranties, I know we cannot control the future or other people’s but a part of me was seeking reassurance.

How could my essence live on for my children if…

On January 2015, as a new years resolution, I decided to write letters to my little ones in case I would leave this earth for any reason; I wasn’t ready to go and have my voice vanish forever. I realized it was very important for me to let my kids know how magical they made my life in the most ordinary of circumstances, so I began this project of writing to them and the world around me was enhanced, I saw rich colors and beauty all around me and my words would not just flow, they would gush out of my pencils and pens to create the most lovely verses.

I found delight in carpool, bathing my children, dinner… I observed simple family moments and they were all filled with wisdom and very important teachings to capture.

I thought of leaving behind a sort of manual for a good and honorable life. A document for my son and daughter to turn to for comfort and guidance.

I wrote to them about cultivating the qualities of humility and kindness, wisdom and courage; all the ingredients for a successful and happy life.

I compiled the letters and added my own artwork: fresh and colorful paintings. My sister Jadyn is a graphic designer and she put it all together in a stylish petit book to lure them to read (and not be scared or bored.)

I liked the results so much, I decided to share them with others in the hope they would appreciate these everyday adventures and maybe think about writing letters to their loved ones as well. We are not eternal, but our sentiments can live and inspire on through paper and hard drives.

My MS is under control now but still, it is a very unpredictable autoimmune disease and you never know how it’s going to creep up on you, so I stay vigilant and grounded to the present. I stay mesmerized by wonderful people and my amazing surroundings.

I thank my MS everyday for giving me the generous gift of awareness and the power of voice, so that I can leave my essence to my family, friends and generations to come.

21 Jul

DIGESTION AND DISEASE

Cover of Shelly’s book, INFLAMED.

By Shelly Malone, MPH, RDN, and author of “INFLAMED.” Learn more at http://www.inflamedbook.com

Our digestive system is the foundation for wellness and immunity, having the highest concentration of immune cells in our entire body. It was Hippocrates who first said, “all disease begins in the gut.” The guy has a pretty good reputation, so I don’t take his proclamation lightly. And though this wise, founding father of medicine first realized this over 2,000 years ago, most people seem to be surprised to know that a digestion (or “gut”) issue could be the culprit for a variety of symptoms outside of the expected gas, bloating and poop issues.

The gut has four quite critical functions:

To digest food and convert it into vitamins
To absorb nutrients
To prevent toxins and pathogens from entering the bloodstream
To activate thyroid hormones, which are involved in almost every physiological process in the body

A big determinant to ensuring the above processes work effectively and efficiently is the makeup of the bacteria, or microorganisms that live within the digestive tract, otherwise known as your gut microbiome.

INTRODUCTION TO THE MICROBIOME

Your microbiome is loosely defined as the community of microorganisms or microbes (beneficial and harmful) that share our body space — not only in our gut, but on our skin, in our mouths, noses, throats, lungs, and urinary tracts. The microbiome as a whole is the source of intense, ongoing research. And while researchers have not yet been able to correlate specific microbes with specific diseases, they have acknowledged:

“What is clear…is that the microbiome is probably an important factor in many diseases, a factor that has been neglected in the past.”

The American Academy of Microbiology estimates that our bodies have almost three times the amount of bacteria making up our microbiome (about 100 trillion) than we do human cells in our entire body. But, don’t let this fact cause concern (yet). While the harmful, pathogenic bacteria (e.g. coliform bacteria like E. Coli, yeasts, fungus, parasites) are the ones we have been so focused on in the past, most of the bugs, like lactobacillus and bifidobacter, are actually beneficial, or commensal, bacteria.

THE GUTS OF THE MATTER

While the microbiome as a whole is a fascinating and timely topic, we are going to stay focused on the micro demographic in our digestive system. Not only does our digestive system house about 70% of our immune cells, 95% of our serotonin and 90% of all neurotransmitters also take up residence there as well.

Ideally, we have a strong, working relationship with the friendly bugs.

Through our diet we provide the nutrients to feed these beneficial bacteria, and in turn, they keep our immunity in check, make certain vitamins, regulate our metabolism, and assist in gene expression, digestion, and many other processes that we are continuing to learn about.

It’s a win/win. Or, at least it should be.

CATEGORIES OF DISRUPTION

Unfortunately, your digestive system and the related processes it is in charge of can be compromised via two general categories. (here’s where we start to get concerned):

Dysbiosis

The goal for a healthy gut is to have the good, beneficial bacteria outweigh the bad. The good guys act as a physical barrier to the bad. If the good guys get killed off, don’t show up in the first place, or if you consume a diet that feeds your body more bad bacteria, it makes more room for the bad (pathogenic) to take over. This leads the way to a skewed ratio of much more bad bugs to good, aka dysbiosis.

Leaky Gut

The protective lining of your digestive system or gut lumen (the space inside the tube of your intestine that regulates the passage of nutrient particles into your bloodstream), can be damaged by various diet and environmental factors. This causes your digestive system to become overly permeable. And when this protective barrier breaks down, it takes down your entire system with it.

Usually your intestinal wall is woven like a piece of cheesecloth. When it’s “leaky” though, it’s more like a tennis net. This series of openings allows larger, undigested nutrient particles to get into your bloodstream before they’ve had time to marinate in the proper digestive juices. Various toxins and bacteria can also pass through. These escapees are viewed as foreigners by your immune system and trigger an antibody reaction leading to inflammation, putting a huge strain on your entire system.

Several years ago, leaky gut was only truly acknowledged in more alternative settings, but with new research available identifying how the gut lining breaks down and its association with inflammation, autoimmune disease, cancer and other chronic conditions, it is becoming more widely accepted. Today, you will hear leaky gut referred to as “intestinal hyperpermeability” or a “disrupted microbiome”.

The words “leaky” and “gut” aren’t painting a very pretty picture but the concept is imperative to almost everything we’ll discuss. If your gut health isn’t on point, your overall health won’t be either. Getting off course compromises your immunity (e.g. inappropriate inflammatory responses), detoxification process (your ability to deal with toxins in the environment), nutrient status, and neurotransmitter balance. In fact, the health of your gut even plays a role in determining how your genetic dispositions will manifest.

13 Jul

Pale Acceptance

By Mac Bogert

I was working with a leadership development group on the topic of conflict (one of my favorites, since I grew up in a family that didn’t have conflict HAHAHA). Rarely do I use another person’s slides, but that’s how this one worked out.

I put up a slide—which I’d missed seeing somehow—that suggested we “develop a tolerance for others’ beliefs and norms.” My first thought was “How the *&$# did I miss this awful slide?” I was immediately glad I did miss it. Words are important. The class took a turn into what I always hope for—chaos, our greatest ally for learning. Some of them were offended by the word tolerance, some couldn’t understand what was wrong.

Tolerance is one of those words we throw around, like empowerment, another of my least-favorite buzzwords. Empower is a transitive verb, which means we do it to people. When I brag about empowering my employees or my students (or my children), I’m highlighting my own power: If I DO IT to them, who really has the power? I direct the folks I coach to reframe the idea as power sharing, which you don’t do to people but with people. When we speak differently, we think differently.

The root meaning of tolerance is a person’s ability to bear pain. So if I proudly proclaim how tolerant I am, I’m citing my ability to bear the pain of others’ differences. I heard a politician talking about England’s decision to leave the EU, and he suggested “we need to be better at tolerating each other’s differences.” Ouch. I don’t think he even considered what he was saying.

Tolerance is condescending. It’s most often touted by the dominant group within a culture, organization, or bureaucracy (like school systems), seldom by those on the receiving end of the you’re different stick. We only need to tolerate differences if those differences cause us pain. Why should any teacher, supervisor, or trainer ever think that tolerance is anything but divisive? Being on the receiving end of pale tolerance is downlifting (the opposite of uplifting).

Let those of us with apparent power, especially when we’re responsible for leading others, start to embrace, and practice, acceptance. I’m a recovering English teacher, so words fascinate me enough to really pay attention. Acceptance evolved from words meaning to receive willingly. How much more powerful and inclusive is that than pale tolerance? I tolerate your difference, I accept our difference. Which position promotes better understanding?

After a time, when we grow comfortable with acceptance and see how much better we start to learn from others and they from us, we can progress to celebrating our differences. And that word’s deepest meaning is assemble to honor.

What if our workplaces celebrated our differences? What if schools moved from the industrial/assembly line tolerance of difference to a celebration? I listen to students all the time, and they feel the condescension of pale tolerance from their teachers and administrators, as do the people I coach in the adult work place.

When we start changing the language we use, our understanding will follow. Acceptance and celebration are for people. Tolerance is for injuries.

BTW, the class agreed to change the slide to acceptance. It was a turning point and well worth the chaos that got us there.

Mac Bogert is the founder of AZA Learning, which provides leadership coaching and learning-design support to 200 clients nationwide. His latest publication is “Learning Chaos: How Disorder Can Save Education.” The book explores the disconnect between what schools do and how people learn. In it, Bogert suggests concrete steps to remove barriers to learning in schools and training centers.

06 Jul

De-Stress Yourself by Walking Your Own Path

By Doron Libshtein

As founder of the Mentors Channel, I have had the privilege and joy of working very closely with some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers and mentors like Deepak Chopra, Karen Berg, Byron Katie, Robin Sharma, Tim Kelley, Osho International and more. As a result, I have worked hard to spread their inspiring words and messages across the world to millions of people.

Today, I would like to invite you into my world, and share with you one very important and profound insight about stress. This insight is what I share with the many people who come to consult with me. These people almost always complain about feeling chronic stress and lack of balance in their lives. They are also frustrated because they cannot find the “de-stress” tools to cope.

I have recently received hundreds of questions through the Mentors Channel about how to achieve more balance and reduce stress. It has become abundantly clear to me how important it is for me to share my profound insight on these matters that I have achieved as a result of my many years of experience with meditation and life coaching.

Here is what I have found:

When you were a very small child, most decisions were made for you. But then you grew up and started making your own choices – what to study, where to work, what friends to surround yourself with, who to marry, whether or not to have children and so on. Sometimes you felt that you were making the choices freely, while other times you may have felt forced to choose a particular course.

Consequently, at some point in time, you discovered a very disturbing truth: You are no longer in charge. From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, you are stressed about your life. Whether these stressors come from your job, money issues, marriage or other aspects of your lifestyle, it may become apparent that a number of your past choices are the stress culprits.

Here are some examples of what people have been sharing with me over the years about stress:

Many know the power of meditation and the enormous positive effect of taking time for themselves. However, I often hear that they are too stressed to find the time to meditate, even for just a few minutes a day because of all their obligations. This just leads to more stress and frustration because they know what they need to do, but feel powerless.

On the other hand, I also encounter those who have a rich spiritual life, meditate, attend seminars and take time for self-reflection. Some of these people are even in the healing professions. However, they oftentimes express feelings of discontent and angst because they have not made enough money, achieved a certain stature in their profession or achieved the lifestyle they envisioned for themselves.

And then I also hear from others, who share with me that they have everything – money, a good family, a good job, high stature within their community – and yet still feel stressed. They often express a feeling of being unfulfilled amounting to a growing frustration with their life. Despite all their achievements, they are not happy, feeling like they are not being true to themselves.

Why has this happened?

The answer is not obvious. It is rooted in the choices you have made in the past and continue to make. The frustration, stress, lack of balance, lack of time – these are direct consequences of these choices. You have tried your best to do what you think is right for you, but somewhere along the way you lost your sense of purpose. That is because what you thought was your purposeful path might not have really been your own.

It is clear to me that you cannot be genuinely happy or fulfilled until you become fully committed to finding YOUR path of purpose and fulfillment in your life. Walking your own path means being completely in control of the choices you make in your life that can lead to a genuine sense of purpose. (Research has shown that people who express that they live a purposeful life live healthier, longer lives).

Here’s the good news: Finding your path to fulfillment is available to all of us. You just have to make the decision to find it and be willing to seek out the best resources and mentors to help you along the way.

Imagine waking up every morning knowing that you are no longer stressed. Imagine spending your day exactly how you feel you are meant to. Even when things do not work out as planned, you know you are on your purposeful path and are not worried that everything is not perfect.

Imagine knowing when to say yes and when to say no to what comes your way and feel great about it.

Imagine feeling fully aligned physically, mentally and spiritually.

Imagine going to sleep at night knowing that you walked your path of purpose that day and feel full of life’s energy, rather than drained or exhausted.

I know this is all possible because I have personally experienced it in my own life. I have also seen it with the great mentors I have worked with along my path. As a result, I founded the Mentors Channel six years ago and have dedicated myself to help others receive this great gift of walking their own paths. For help in finding your own path, I implore you to speak with one of our many mentors who can help you discover insights about yourself that you may have trouble uncovering on your own.

Doron Libshtein is the mentor to the world’s top mentors. Having been mentored throughout his own career, Libshtein has come full circle and is now regarded as a world-leading self-development mentor, having worked closely with the field’s top luminaries, including Deepak Chopra, Byron Katie, Robin Sharma, Tim Kelley, Marcia Weider and Karen Berg, founder of the Kabbalah Center. He is also a prolific author and strategic entrepreneur, seeking to foster personal growth using the potential of the digital space.

As chairman and founder of Mentors Channel (www.mentorschannel.com), Libshtein has established a thriving interactive community where the world’s best mentors and coaches help millions of people live fuller, richer lives.

05 Jul

Get Rid of Junk Emotions

By Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D. and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D.

We women know all about calories. Think of how you examine the packaging of a product for its nutritional content. How many calories? Is it high fat or low fat? Some products may look good, but it turns out they’re not good for you.

But what about your emotions? There are junk emotions, just like junk food. Junk emotions don’t bring out your best. What would happen if you started to consider your emotions from the perspective that they are ingredients that you feed yourself? In our book, Psychological Nutrition, we did just that.

We look at relationships as products. Some are nutritious, others are not. Just as with junk food, a diet of junk emotions (anger, resentment, worry) leads to psychological malnourishment.

Because we don’t look at our emotions in this way, we unthinkingly consume a diet so high in negative emotions (high fat), that there’s no room left for positive emotions (low fat). We see this in women who are juggling work and family. They are sandwiched between childcare, eldercare, and family and professional obligations; pretty soon they’re running on empty because they’re in psychological starvation.

Here are some key concepts:

HIGH-FAT EMOTIONS are negative and energy draining; they suck the fun and creativity out of your life and are bad for you.

High fat emotions create and maintain a cycle of pessimism and low-energy. They are fatiguing and close the door to creativity and joy.
They require no discipline; are knee-jerk emotional reactions; are a long-term habit.
Some examples: guilt, resentment, anger, envy, jealousy, pessimism, feeling less-than, fear, doubt and second guessing yourself, pessimism, frustration

LOW-FAT EMOTIONS are positive and increase your energy. Low-fat emotions should dominate your psychological intake.

Low fat (or positive) emotions energize you. They open up your world, both in terms of your inner self and the doors to opportunity.
However, they require practice and discipline.
You have to be mindful of the emotions you are consuming; you have to deliberately restrict your diet of high fat emotions.
Some examples: excitement, optimism, calmness, contentment, joy, focused attention, clear thinking, laser-like concentration.

So what do you do?

Just like food products have labels that describe their nutritional content, there should be “psychological nutritional labels” for reactions, relationships, and situations. In this way, you will know (or at least have a good idea) whether a situation has a “high fat” or “low fat” content before you enter it.

7-day Snapshot:

In order to be mindful of your high and low fat emotional intake, you will have to undertake an assessment process in the form of diary. Many of us hear the word “diary,” and we groan, “Oh my God, another obligation!” Let’s face it, we’re all busy. But, we’re also interested in becoming and staying healthy.

Psychological Nutrition simplifies this to a 7-Day Snapshot.

We test-drove it on ourselves just to make sure it really was doable. And it is.

The 7- Day Snapshot means taking one period of 7 days, and for each day recording your emotional reactions, the triggers, and the values (positive or negative). We tell you exactly how to do this.
This snapshot gives you a clear picture of your emotional nutritional content and whether you are psychologically nourished or malnourished.
That is, how many “high fat” or “low fat” emotions do you experience in a day?
The 7-day snapshot can also help you construct a psychological nutritional label. Are there people or situations that should have warning labels?

The Pay off:

Even though we are psychologists and intellectually appreciate the impact of negative emotions on our own psychological well-being, we were both astonished by our first 7-Day snapshot. It revealed that we would wake up tired, hurried, looking toward what was next on the agenda, and not really aware of what we were experiencing. We were living on a diet of high-fat emotions—mainly driven by the work ethic. So, our psychological nutrition was poor.

We are much more mindful now. We literally construct psychological nutritional labels, where some have clear warnings.

Tips:

If it is dangerous to your psychological health, don’t do it.

Even if it means someone won’t like you.
Even if it means that person has the label of “family member” and you feel obligated to do it.
Even if it means by saying “no” you will be perceived as not accommodating.

Time is a finite quantity and none of us know how much of it we have. Start each day in making life as fulfilled and joyful as it can be, and build on that.

Dr. Shoba Sreenivasan earned a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA in 1986 and completed a post-doctoral forensic fellowship at USC. She is a Clinical Professor at Keck School of Medicine of USC, works as a VA psychologist, and has a private forensic psychology practice. She’s co-authored Totally American, a motivational book, and authored the Mattie Spyglass series. She has also written numerous scholarly publications and book chapters in the fields of forensic psychology, violence risk assessment, and Veterans’ issues.

Dr. Linda E. Weinberger earned a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Houston in 1979 and subsequently completed a postdoctoral forensic fellowship at USC. She has been the Chief Psychologist at the USC Institute of Psychiatry, Law, and Behavioral Sciences, and Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Keck School of Medicine of USC for over three and a half decades. She is the author of numerous book chapters and scholarly publications in the fields of forensic psychology, suicide risk, and violence risk assessment.

Learn more about authors on www.psychologicalnutrition.com.

01 Jul

ESTABLISHING A HOME YOGA PRACTICE

An Excerpt from THE ART AND BUSINESS OF TEACHING YOGA by Amy Ippoliti and Taro Smith, PhD

Yoga in America is booming. A 2016 report by Yoga Journal and Yoga Alliance reported that 36.7 million people practice yoga, up from 20.4 million in 2012, and 28 percent of all Americans having taken a yoga class at some point in their lives. As a result, the demand for yoga instructors has never been higher and increasing numbers of practitioners are becoming inspired to teach — a career that can be as challenging as it is fulfilling.

In their new book The Art and Business of Teaching Yoga: The Yoga Professional’s Guide to a Fulfilling Career yoga “teacher of teachers” Amy Ippoliti and wellness entrepreneur Taro Smith, PhD, build on their popular “90 Minutes to Change the World” online course for yoga professionals to offer instructors a road map for creating a career that sustains and inspires not only themselves, but their students as well.

We hope you’ll enjoy this short excerpt from the book, which offers powerful tips for fitting a home yoga practice into your busy schedule, which should prove helpful to both yoga teachers and practitioners alike.

# # #

Have you ever taken a yoga class when you could just tell that the teacher was not into it? Or have you been that teacher? A passionless teacher can’t inspire students. Fortunately, there is a remedy, and that is to get on your own yoga mat and meditation cushion. As the yogini Dana Trixie Flynn puts it, “Just as a concert musician must practice their instrument, a yoga teacher must practice on their mat.”

This doesn’t mean going to a workshop or retreat only once in a while — though that can be nice — and coming back inspired and enthusiastic. This is about continual refueling. It means getting on your yoga mat consistently, at home, in a class, or at a practice for teachers and advanced students.

This may seem obvious, but the majority of teachers we’ve polled complain that their single biggest challenge as a teacher is keeping up their own practice. If this is a problem for you, here are some ideas to get you rolling. If you’re practicing consistently already, you can skim this section, but you might consider helping to uplift the whole teaching community by organizing group practices that help others stay motivated too.

Establish — and Maintain — Your Home Practice

Having a practice of your own can be not only empowering but often incredibly creative and innovative. If you don’t continue to practice regularly in addition to teaching, your only source of inspiration for your teaching is the stale memory of a regular practice. Do whatever it takes to get yourself on your mat five to seven days a week, even if only for a short time. Put on your favorite music first thing in the morning, and get on your mat and just experiment with movement.

Vow to practice at least ten minutes a day, five to seven days a week. By committing to only ten minutes, you avoid putting pressure on yourself, and you’re more likely to stick to the resolution. If you start small, you will find yourself craving more time on the mat.

Create a dedicated space in your home for your practice. This will encourage you to practice at home more often. It doesn’t have to be anything special — and you certainly don’t want to put so much thought into it that the planning process prevents you from rolling out your mat! But when you put just enough energy into a space, it can become magnetic, drawing you onto the mat.

Other tips for practicing consistently and keeping your practice interesting include the following:

Go straight from your bed to the mat in the morning
Queue up new music to listen to while practicing
Attempt a new pose and do a warm-up that gets you there
Practice someplace new — in a different room, outside, or even in a hot tub
Lay out your mat in an unavoidable space
Set a goal for the week, such as a certain number of days on the mat, a certain pose, or more time in a pose
Keep an asana and meditation journal to stay accountable to yourself
Write down any inspiring sequences you’ve done in other teachers’ classes or practices, and work on them again

# # #

Amy Ippoliti and Taro Smith, PhD are the authors of The Art and Business of Teaching Yoga and founders of the online school 90 Monkeys, which has enhanced the skills of yoga teachers and studios in over 40 countries. Amy is known for bringing yoga to modern-day life in a genuine way and has been featured on the covers of Yoga Journal and Fit Yoga Magazine. Taro is the Chief Content Officer at Yoga Glo and has over two decades of experience developing yoga, medical, and wellness enterprises. They both live in Boulder, Colorado. Visit them online at www.90monkeys.com and www.AmyIppoliti.com.

Categories

Featured Bloggers

Archives:

Secrets of the I Ching

Through the Fire Excerpt

How to Be You

Homeward Bound

Thanks to MS I leave a Legacy Behind for my Little Ones

DIGESTION AND DISEASE

Pale Acceptance

De-Stress Yourself by Walking Your Own Path

Get Rid of Junk Emotions

ESTABLISHING A HOME YOGA PRACTICE

Wisdom News

lissacoffey

Business Contact

Coffey Cards

Free Downloads

Games & Quizzes

Got Closure?

Kindness Movement

Learn Meditation

Recipes

The Four Pearls

What’s Your Dharma?

Sleep Better